Becoming
by Mia Vaan
Summary: Peggy Sue. When Buffy jumped off the tower in self-sacrifice to save her sister and the world, she didn't expect to find herself, moments later, in her seventeen year old body and locked in battle with Angelus.
1. Chapter One: Becoming

**Disclaimer: The rights for **_**Buffy the Vampire Slayer**_** belong to Joss Whedon. **

**AN: I'm trying out a new fandom. This is the second story test I'll be posting today; I'm just seeing what works and what doesn't.**

* * *

"_Everyone says love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love. But in reality, love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again."_ – Unknown

* * *

At first, Buffy thought it was her life flashing before her eyes.

That was what happened, wasn't it, when people died?

She was in the mansion back in Sunnydale, and Angel – or rather Angelus, she recalled – had just pulled the sword from the chest of Acathla. He was smirking at his accomplishment, twirling the sword in his hand before pointing it at Buffy.

"You're going to hell," he said.

Buffy expected her next words of, "Save me a seat" to come out naturally. This was a memory after all, right?

She was surprised when they didn't; she just remained standing, watching him like he was merely a movie on the TV. Angelus seemed slightly surprised as well by the lack of comeback, but that didn't stop him from launching an attack on her. Buffy expected to fall into the fighting stance, like she had done before.

Instead the sword hit her arm and ripped her sleeve.

She cried out and leapt back in shock, her eyes widening at the sudden flash of pain that was real, and the sudden realization that came with it. _This is real. It's not a memory. I'm actually here_.

With all the crazy stuff she'd seen in her life, time-travel shouldn't have come as a shock. But it did. _I'm actually here, back in time, before I died…before Dawn…_ Part of her wondered if her sister was real at this point.

Angelus – partly confused and partly angered by her not paying attention to him – swung again, and this time Buffy dodged and parried back. _Right. Evil vampire. Need to figure out my dilemma later_.

_But…I can change this_, she realized. _Maybe I won't have to send him… No, he's already pulled the sword out_. Buffy felt a stab at her heart as she recalled what had happened – rather, what _will_ happen in a couple of minute's time. All the pain from the time before threatened to overwhelm her, and her thoughts raced as she tried to figure out what to do. _But I can't avoid it. I have to kill him to save the world_.

_But what if I send him back without his soul? Easier on me, easier on him; at least then he won't suffer in Hell_.

Knowing where and when he was going to strike at her made it easier to keep him close to Acathla. It also made it easier to disarm him and run him through with the sword.

The shock on his face was a lot different than the last time; this time it was full of anger at being bested by her, rather than the heart-breaking look of hurt which she had been condemned to watch as he was sucked into Hell.

"NO!"

Buffy turned at the sound of the crazed outburst and witnessed Drusilla elbowing Spike in the face before launching herself towards the statue.

_Forgot about them. I thought Spike would've left with her by now? _

_Spike…_ Thoughts of what he had done for her and Dawn flooded her brain, but this didn't last for long as she took her fighting stance, ready to defend herself against Drusilla…

…only to be pushed aside as the female vampire tried to get to Angelus.

"The stars still shine; we need to snuff them out! Daddy, where are you going? Come back! Come back!" She grabbed Angelus's outstretched hand in an attempt to pull him away from the vortex which had begun to open.

"Dru!" Spike leapt towards them, and Buffy found herself instinctively holding him back.

She didn't know why she did it; at this point in time, he was still evil.

_I'm changing the past. What's going on? Why am I helping him? This is too much_. And yet she kept up her strength to hold him back, stopping him from getting dragged into Hell. _He's evil now…but he won't be later_.

The vortex dragged Angelus through, and with him, Drusilla. It began to close, and Buffy ignored Spike's cries of protest – which sounded so _heartbroken_ that she screwed her eyes shut to hold back her tears – as she kept holding him back.

The vortex closed within moments, having taken the two vampires with it.

There was a moment of silence as the reality of what had happened crashed down upon Buffy.

_Minutes ago I leapt into a portal to save my sister. Now I'm somehow back in time…and I just seriously screwed up the timeline_. Tears welled in her eyes. _God, what's happening? I sent my boyfriend to Hell again – OK, that wasn't really my boyfriend, but still…_

"Why didn't you let me save her?!"

Buffy looked up and realized she was still clutching Spike, holding him back from the statue. She let go and looked him up and down; the heartbreak in his voice matched the utterly destroyed look on his face, and it only made the tears flow more freely. _He never needed a soul to love… He loved Drusilla, and he watched her get sucked into Hell… Oh God, what just happened here? Oh God, he's like me… Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…_

"I…" She didn't have a reply. What was she supposed to say to him, after he'd witnessed his girlfriend getting dragged into Hell? There was a reason she avoided people the last time around, and this was it.

"I could've saved her!" he yelled. "You bloody bitch! I told you this deal only worked _one_ way; me and Dru gettin' out of here! I let your bloody Watcher live, and this is how you repay me?!"

"But you would've been pulled in, too!"

He scoffed. "And since when do _you_ care 'bout that, Slayer?"

_Since you protected Dawn from Glory… Since you kept her secret even though it almost killed you… _

"I wouldn't have cared if I'd been pulled in, too," he continued. "At least I would've been with Dru and we would've been out of Sunnyhell." The vampire suddenly grabbed her arm. "You know what? Forget what I said about leavin'; I'm gonna kill myself a third Slayer, and it's gonna be-"

And then suddenly he collapsed to the floor, holding his chest in pain.

Despite the fact that he'd been threatening to kill her moments before, Buffy knelt down beside him, concerned. "Spike? Are you OK?"

Then she saw it; the flash of light in his eyes as he gasped in pain, and her eyes widened at the one thing which had failed to cross her mind in her desperation – and in her selfishness to not deal with the pain of sending her boyfriend to Hell.

_Willow did the curse. And since Angel's not here…_ It had fallen upon the next vampire in line.


	2. Chapter Two: Running Away

"Where am I? Who are you?"

Buffy could only stare in shock at the vampire kneeling before her. _I really should've thought this through… Of course the soul is gonna go somewhere else without Angel around. Spike makes sense; he's the next vampire in Angel's line who's close enough_.

Spike continued to survey his surroundings. His voice had dropped its cocky tone and was much softer; the accent he had before he was turned, Buffy assumed. "What is this place? How did I get here?" His eyes then fell upon Buffy again. "Please, can you tell me where I am, Miss?"

The Slayer couldn't say a word. What could she say? She knew that at any moment, the vampire's memories of all that he had done would come back to him. Angel had explained it to her before, when she'd asked for details about the curse; there would be a brief moment of amnesia before the memories would come flooding back.

_They really wanted him to suffer_, had been her first thought upon hearing it. To have their victim not remember and then to have everything come rushing back all at once… It was no wonder Angel brooded all the time.

She waited cautiously, looking for any signs that Spike was starting to remember. Even when she had loathed him, she knew that he was more sensitive compared to Angel; his memories would hit him twice as hard.

"Spike," she began, despite knowing he didn't remember that name. "Spike, I need you to remain calm. Take in deep breaths. Don't panic."

He gave her a quizzical look. "Whatever do you mean? Who is this 'Spike'? And why are you trying to-" Then his eyes widened. "Oh…Oh God, no… What have I…?"

Buffy didn't know whether to take a step back or to kneel down in an attempt to comfort him. The vampire collapsed from his knees into a quivering heap, and seeing him in such pain Buffy chose the latter option.

She knelt down beside him and placed a comforting hand upon his shoulder. "Hey. Spike. It's OK." But even as she said this, she knew it was _not_ OK.

And not just with Spike; everything was messed up. Somehow – for some reason – she had been transported back in time and had let a moment of selfish weakness get the better of her. She had refused to send her ex-boyfriend to Hell for a second time; she had preferred to send the monster instead.

But her actions had caused pain to someone close to her. She never thought she'd ever think of Spike as a close friend, but after all he had risked keeping Dawn safe…

The vampire flinched away from her hand and looked up at her; there were tears in his eyes. "I hurt you… I hurt so many people… I can see them all, screaming as I kill them…drink their blood…railroad spikes… That's why you called me… Oh God… Why does it hurt?"

"You got your soul back," said Buffy. "Like Angel. Seems Willow was trying to restore his soul, but since I sent him to Hell…"

"It was given to me," Spike realized. "He should've told me…should've warned me… Now I know why he bloody brooded so much; why he stayed away. And I treated him like…like a traitor for it. But it hurts, and it must hurt worse for him; he was doing it longer. He should've warned me…should've warned me…should've warned everyone…"

"Spike?" He was trailing off, and Buffy was concerned. "Spike, listen to me. I know you're hurting right now, and that's OK. But we have to…"

_Go? Stay?_ She didn't know what to do. Last time she had left running; she'd been so broken about Angel, not to mention being wanted for murder and no longer welcome in her own home. _OK, I now know that last part wasn't true…_

She stepped back, trying to think about her next move. _If I stay here, it'll only be a matter of time before the cops catch up to me. The reason I was cleared was because I wasn't around; if I stay I might make a bigger mess. I've already done that already_. She looked at the dormant Acathla and wondered how much time had already passed in the demon dimension. Days? Weeks?

This reminded her of something else. _Lily… If I don't go to LA, she and others will be trapped in that other dimension_. She sighed as she made up her mind. _I suppose if I go, it'll give me time to figure out what the hell is going on_.

The Slayer suddenly found herself pushed aside by Spike. The vampire clambered to his feet before he ran towards the garden – towards the sunlight.

"Spike, no!" Buffy cried out before hurrying after him. He was just about to throw himself out into the sunlight when she grabbed him, pulling him backwards. "What are you trying to do, kill yourself?!"

"Yes! It has to end! The pain, the suffering!" he yelled as he fought against her grip. "It's the spark; it wants me to die! It tells me I have to die!"

"No!" With no other choice, Buffy punched him hard in the face. The vampire collapsed to the floor, out cold.

The Slayer sighed. _I can't leave him here_. It was never a question of whether she would or not; he would kill himself if she left him alone, and if he didn't… No one should have to suffer alone.

Buffy was able to hoist his body over her shoulder. _Now I just to get back to my house with him – in daylight_. Then she remembered his car, so carried the vampire's body down to where it was parked. She was able to open the back door and gently lay him down in the back seat.

Then after another thought, she hurried back to the main room and returned with chains and a pair of handcuffs. _He'll try and escape_, she reasoned. The Slayer was able to chain him up as securely as she could, and after a second thought, put the two back doors on a child lock.

Once she was certain Spike was secure, Buffy climbed into the front seat. The keys were ready in the ignition.

_I can do this_, she told herself. _I took a couple of driving lessons before this…or after this. Man, this whole back-in-time thing is gonna be complicated_. She started up the car and hoped that no one would stop her on her way home.

The drive didn't take long, and Buffy arrived to find that her mother was still home. _Right, I arrived later last time because I walked_. She drove around the block three times before realizing that her mother wouldn't recognize Spike's car, so parked it up a few doors down.

She waited for about twenty minutes before she saw her mother leave the house, pulling out of the drive in her own car. Buffy waited another five minutes just to make sure her mother wasn't coming back, before she climbed out of the car and ventured into the house.

She packed what she needed, just like the last time; clothes, snacks, money and other items. Realizing she was going to need to buy pig's blood for Spike, she grabbed extra cash which her mother had hidden in her room. Half an hour later she had written her goodbye note and was ready to leave.

But as she went to walk back down the stairs, she paused. Her eyes fell upon the room at the end of the hall – the one that would belong to Dawn. Slowly, she approached the door and found it open, before taking a deep breath and stepping inside.

It was full of her mother's art supplies.

Buffy held back her tears as she turned and left.

* * *

Spike awoke to the usual scent of smoke and blood, and successfully deduced he was in his car before he even opened his eyes.

But he was surprised to find himself chained up in the backseat.

Then the pain returned; the memories of everyone he'd killed over the past century, kills he'd once bragged about over a pint of blood. _How could I have bragged about killing people? What sort of monster am I?_

He looked towards the little slit in the front window which he used to see the road; it was still daylight, and there was no sign of Buffy. _I have to get out of here…give myself up…escape the pain, escape the suffering, escape the spark… The spark asks for it; demands it. I have to pay for what I've done…have to pay…have to pay…_

He tried to yank against his chains, but they wouldn't budge. _The Slayer chained me up well. But I have to try_. He tugged again, harder this time, putting all his pain into it. All his sorrow. All his desperation. _Dear Lord, forgive me, for I have sinned. Lord, release me from these chains so I may be punished for all I have done. Mustn't be forgiven…mustn't forget…must pay for my sins…_

Suddenly the front door opened and Buffy climbed into the driver's seat. She placed a bag on the passenger seat next to her before looking behind at Spike; her eyes widened when she saw what he was trying to do. "Spike!"

"The spark! The spark! It burns!" He tugged harder, more desperately.

Buffy leaned over and pinned him against the seat. "Spike, listen to me! Giving up isn't going to help. You have to keep fighting! That's what you do; you fight. You've always been a fighter."

"I fought Slayers like you; I killed them!" Spike continued to fight against her grasp. _Why can't she understand that I'm a monster? How has she forgotten all that I've done?_ "One had a son; a little boy. He was there the first time I fought his mother; he must've been so scared…"

"Spike, please! Listen to me!"

But he kept on struggling, and the last thing he saw was Buffy's apologetic look as she threw her fist at his face.


	3. Chapter Three: City of Angels

**AN: For those of you who are unaware, I am also uploading this story to the Spuffy fan website **_**Elysian Fields**_**.**

* * *

Spike woke up twice more on the way to LA – both times Buffy was forced to knock him out in order to stop him from escaping.

She felt guilty each time she did it, but she swallowed it and carried on driving. _Is it wrong for me to deny him what he wants?_ She shook her head. _God, that's like saying it's wrong to stop someone from committing suicide_.

The memory of loneliness kept her going. She had tried to deny it before, but the months she'd spent alone in LA had been almost torturous. No one to talk to, no one to trust; she was left alone to suffer the loss of Angel, and the loss of her friends and family. They had been her price to pay for not wanting to return to her hard life as the Slayer.

She looked at the vampire in the back seat. _But now I won't be alone, and neither will he_. True, Spike would never have been her first choice before, but after all that had happened – both before and after the whole time-travel thing – she couldn't think of anyone else she would rather be with.

Plus, he needed her help. And she was going to be there for him no matter what.

Buffy arrived in LA that afternoon. Last time she had stayed in a motel until she'd found an affordable apartment a week later, but instead she drove straight to the block where said apartment was advertised. She needed Spike in a stabilized environment, and a motel was no good.

Confident that the vampire would be out cold for at least another other, Buffy left him in the car. _I'm gonna have to wait until sunset before I can get him inside. That should be interesting_. She turned and looked up at the familiar apartment block, let out the breath she was holding, before making her way inside. _Hopefully it's available a week earlier than expected_.

Thankfully it was, and Buffy was able to move in without any delay. She was able to move in and put away what little stuff she had, and when the sun finally set and sent the city into darkness, Buffy set about moving Spike into the apartment.

He was still out cold from when she had last hit him hours before; he had lasted longer this time. _Maybe I hit him one time too many_. Nevertheless, once she was certain she wouldn't be getting any weird looks from passers-by, she hoisted him over her shoulder once more and carried him inside.

The vampire still wore the chains, and using them she was able to chain him to the sink in the bathroom; it was the strongest structure in the apartment. _I'll just have to get him to close his eyes when I need to pee or take a shower. Hopefully the whole 'having-a-soul' thing has stopped him from being a pig_.

_Speaking of which…_ The Slayer looked down at herself and then towards the shower. She had been able to change clothes before she left Sunnydale, but she had been unable to wash herself. It had been well over twenty-four hours since she'd last been clean.

She cast a weary glance at Spike, wondering whether she should risk showering and have him wake up to the sight of her naked.

"_Are you naked under there?"_ She recalled that night months before – _after? Whatever_ – when he had shown up in her room unannounced in order to inform her about Riley's secret trips to the "vampire brothel". His eyes had been drifting down to her naked form under the bed, and Buffy had seen the desire in his eyes when he'd turned around to let her get changed.

She wondered why she hadn't guessed his love for her then and there; he'd obviously been making eyes at her, and he'd gone through a lot of trouble just to make her boyfriend look bad. _And that's another thing I have to change; don't get drawn in by Riley. I can't deal with that a second time_.

Her gaze kept shifting between Spike and the shower as she tried to make up her mind, and in the end her need for hygiene won out. _Maybe if I run the shower warm enough, there'll be too much steam in the room and he won't be able to see me anyway_.

* * *

Spike awoke to moisture and warmth, and was disgusted by his first thought as to why that was. _When did I get such a dirty mind? _

_Oh yeah. When I died and lost my soul. Thank you, pain in my spark, for remindin' me_.

He was still chained up, but Spike realized that he had been moved from the car and placed on a tiled floor, which was also warm and wet. A bathroom, he guessed. _But it only gets this warm and wet when someone's…_

Spike's thought trailed off when he heard the sound of a shower running, making him realize the only explanation…and at the same time he heard a familiar voice humming not so far away. _Buffy_.

The pain in his heart – the guilt at what he had done – was momentarily forgotten when thoughts of the Slayer filled his mind. _She's takin' a soddin' shower with me in the room, and she's bloody naked! After everything I've done, she trusts me enough to take a shower with me in the same room_.

He then noticed how he was still chained, the other end attached to the sink. _Alright, so she doesn't trust me that much. But she's still naked_. He tried pulling on the chains to test them out, but they made a loud enough noise for Buffy to notice and she stopped humming.

Spike screwed his eyes shut, cursing himself. _Now you've gone and done it. She was probably hopin' you'd sleep for hours_.

"Spike, are you awake?" she asked.

The vampire kept his eyes fixed on the door. "I'm not lookin'. Honest. Just surprised, is all."

Behind him he heard the shower stop and Buffy step out. He kept his eyes averted away as he heard her fiddling with the towel – _there're those dirty thoughts again, bloody hell_ – and didn't look at her even when she stepped in front of him, calling for his attention.

"Sorry I had to chain you up," she apologized. "I don't want you to try and kill yourself."

"Why?" he asked, keeping his gaze averted to the floor. "Why would you help me after all I've done?"

"Because you're in pain," she explained. "You're truly horrified by what you've done; you deserve a chance to be good, and I'm giving it to you."

He shook his head over and over. "No…no, no, no, no. I don't deserve anything. Deserve to be in the soddin' ground, is what I need. You're the Slayer; slay me. Put me in the ground; turn me into dust. I brought so much pain to this world. I don't deserve to be in it no more."

"Of course you do-"

"But you know that's not true!" he yelled, still refusing to look at her. "You don't trust me; I know it. That's why you really had me chained up; you're afraid that I'll kill you in the night, and honestly I don't blame you. So please…do me a favour…save yourself…" That was when he looked up, his eyes filled with tears of desperation, "…just kill me!"

He was shocked by what he saw on the face of the Slayer. There were tears in her eyes too; she was still wet from the shower and the towel was only loosely clutched around her, but Spike wasn't even tempted to look at her that way. His eyes were looking into hers, and he couldn't believe the emotion he saw in them.

_Do I really matter that much to her? How could I? _

She knelt down in front of him, before very slowly, she tenderly cupped his cheek. "I can't. I just can't. It would be easier on both of us, right? If I killed you here and now? I could put you out of your misery, and the world will have one less vampire to deal with." She sniffed back a sob. "But I can't, and it's selfish of me."

"Selfish? Buffy, how in all the world could _you_ be selfish?"

"Because…because I'm hurting too." A tear ran down her cheek. "I sent my ex to Hell…kicked out of my home…separated from my friends…and Dawn… Oh, Dawn…"

_Dawn? Does she mean the sunrise?_ But running the words through his head again, he realized she'd said it as the name of a person. _Is that one of her friends? Can't remember their names; I'll have to ask_.

But seeing her begin to sob openly, Spike couldn't find it in him to bring up the topic. "You're hurting…_I'm_ hurting… I've always been strong, but… All this is happening, and I don't know _why_; Death was my Gift, so why am I still here? I…I need someone with me right now, and if you die…" She was trying to be strong, but he could see the inner pain written all over her face; what was possibly months – heck, even _years_ – of pain was pouring out.

He was suffering – but so was she.

And so he let her fall against him.


	4. Chapter Four: Oracles

**AN: Don't forget to check out my other story **_**The Gift**_**.**

* * *

The pair fell into routine.

Buffy was able to get the job down at the diner like she had before, and felt a little more comfortable in knowing that she had at least one person to come home to at the end of the day. She was able to track down the butcher Angel had used in his LA days in order to get some pig's blood for Spike, and while he had refused to drink it for the first few days, she was eventually able to convince him.

It was when he started drinking that she finally freed him of the chains. After that night in the bathroom – when they'd both held each other and cried until they were dry – she knew he wouldn't try and kill himself. The soul within him still hurt, but the vampire was far more concerned about her than he was about himself. He didn't want to leave her alone, and she was OK with that.

When the nightmares started, and Spike would wake up screaming in guilt of all he had done, Buffy began to put the pieces together in her analysis of the vampire. He had great empathy for others, a loving heart and a great mind – which made sense, if what she'd read about him being a poet was true. Giles had told her over and over that vampires become darker versions of the people they were before; the man Spike had been before was full of love…which resulted in an unusual kind of vampire who could feel human emotions.

It made her feel guilty for what she had done and said to him before; rebuffing his affections simply because she believed it was some kind of twisted lust instead of genuine love. _OK, so the whole tying-me-up thing and the shrine were pretty twisted. But I guess that was his demon side. He still loved me – unlike Angel, who lost the ability to feel love the moment he lost his soul. _

Whenever Buffy wasn't at work or comforting Spike after his nightmares, she began to make notes on all she remembered of the future, and all the possible ways she could change it. She didn't want to make the same mistake again; she didn't want to do something stupid and selfish and change the timeline dramatically. Unpredictability was dangerous, and she didn't want to make things worse.

_I can save Lily's boyfriend; she was never quite the same after him_, she thought to herself one evening after work. Spike was asleep on the couch, so far having made it through a few hours rest without nightmares of his past. _And when we go back to Sunnydale, I'll have to figure out a way to stop Faith from turning evil. That seriously messed her up. And then there're all the small things too… Ugh_.

She put the pen down and sighed. _This would be much easier if I knew why I was here. I must've been sent back for a reason; those weird Powers That Be must want me to change a certain event. But what? And who can I even ask about it?_

Then she remembered Angel referencing beings known as Oracles; it had been during the summer after her first year of college, and they'd been talking on the phone. He'd mentioned their deaths, and Buffy hadn't known what he was talking about.

"Oh yeah. You wouldn't… Never mind," he had said, like he had been hiding something from her.

But Buffy had pretending not to hear that part and had asked more about them, leading Angel to tell her about how the gateway to their dimension was located under a post office. She thought about visiting them and asking if they knew what was going on. _But they died…_

_Wait, they died later on. They should be alive now_. Her mind made up, Buffy rose from her chair and crossed the room to where she'd left her jacket. But then her eyes fell upon the sleeping Spike. _I can't just leave him here asleep. What if he has another nightmare while I'm gone? But I really don't wanna wake him up…_ She glanced over at the window and saw how dark it was growing outside. _I guess he'll be waking up soon, anyway. And I need to tell him where I'm going in case he panics_.

So she placed a gentle hand upon his shoulder and shook him. "Spike?"

He stirred, and his eyes fluttered open before he turned to look at her. "Buffy? What is it?"

"I need to go out," she explained. "There's something I have to do. I shouldn't be too long."

The vampire nodded. "Will you be alright? LA's got quite a crowd of beasties."

"I'm the Slayer, remember? I'll be fine, but thanks for your concern." She smiled.

He smiled back. "I know you can take care of yourself. I was just askin' to be polite."

As she left the apartment, Buffy thought, _That's another thing which makes Spike different to Angel; he knows that I can handle myself while Angel feels the need to protect me all the time_.

* * *

"I come before the Oracles for guidance and direction. I beseech access to the Knowing Ones."

Buffy recited the incantation, before a doorway leading to a bright white light opened before her. It hadn't taken her long to find the right post office; it was the closest to where Angel had set up his office.

_I guess the Slayer counts as a warrior of good_, she thought as she entered. Her eyes then settled upon two beings, male and female, stood in front of an archway; they were both humanoid and bronze in colour with blue markings dancing across their skin. They were dressed in the ways of ancient Greeks, the woman with dark curly hair and the man's was golden, almost metallic.

"Come before us, lower being," said the man. "What have you brought us?"

_Oops, forgot to bring something_. Buffy fumbled around in her pockets, looking for an offering…but then she remembered what was around her neck, and slowly brought her hand up to the Claddagh ring attached to its chain.

She wasn't even sure why she wore it, but after all that had happened, she felt the urge to hand it over. She took it off and held it out to them.

The female Oracle stepped forwards and carefully took it from her. "The Claddagh ring; a fine gift indeed. A sign of devotion; friendship, loyalty…and love." Her dark blue eyes looked into Buffy's. "This means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

"It did," she said. "Now it's just a memory."

"What question do you have for us, lower being?" the male asked.

Buffy sighed. "I don't know what's happening to me. One minute I'm jumping off a tower into a portal to save my sister's life, and the next I'm three years into the past fighting my ex-boyfriend. And now I've altered the timeline; Spike has a soul instead of Angel, and I don't know what to do. All I want to know is why; why was I sent back in time?"

The eyes of the Oracles appeared to flash; they were in contact with the Powers That Be, Buffy recalled, and were most likely being sent a message. They then exchanged looks.

"You have been given a second chance, Vampire Slayer," said the woman. "A chance to live your life how you wish to live it."

"The Powers are happy with what you did, and how much you had to give up," said the male. "Many a Slayer has given up her life to rid the world of the Ones who hunt in the night, but you have given far more. This is your reward."

Buffy didn't know what to say. "My reward? Sending my ex-boyfriend to Hell again was my reward?"

"They sent you back with your memories so you can change your life; make it one worth living," said the female. "Make everything right."

"The vampire Angel has his own destiny," said the man. "A destiny you are not a part of."

"So why send me back to this point in time?" asked Buffy. "Why now?"

"That is something you must figure out for yourself," said the female. "The other vampire will help you." She and the male then turned to walk away.

"Wait! But I-"

"Leave." And with the man's words, there was a blinding flash of light before Buffy found herself thrown backwards through the door.

She heaved a sigh as she picked herself up. _I suppose that was a little helpful. But they could've been a little more polite about showing me out_.


	5. Chapter Five: Empathy

**AN: The songs **_**Under Pressure**_** and **_**Full of Grace**_** belong to their respective owners.**

* * *

"You're takin' me to a bloody karaoke bar?"

"Yes, I am." Buffy didn't even turn as they descended the steps into the bar, with her dragging Spike behind her. "You may not be suicidal anymore, Spike, but you're in pain. And I heard of someone here who can help."

"Who?"

She turned to him when they were finally inside. "A demon; the host of the bar. He can read people's auras and see their futures…but he can only do it when they sing."

His eyebrow rose. "So you want me to sing?"

"You _did_ say that you sing," said Buffy, smirking. The vampire was in pain, but his typical mood was returning, which she saw as a good thing. "C'mon, it'll be fun."

"Fine." He sighed. "How did you find out about this bloke, anyway?"

"Just rumours I heard." _More like my ex-boyfriend told me in the future_.

She recognized the host from Angel's description; Lorne had green skin with red eyes and red horns to match, and was dressed in a bright orange suit. He was stood by the bar, but when he spotted them he approached with a smile on his face.

"Well, what do we have here?" he greeted. "It's not every day I get a Slayer." He said the 'S' word in a lower tone of voice, cautiously glancing over at the small group of vampires sat down at a table nearby.

"If you know that, you must be the host," said Buffy. "And don't worry; I'm not here to slay. My friend here needs some help."

Lorne looked Spike up and down. "I can see that. You have a soul, and if the vibes I'm getting off you are any indication, it's driving you insane."

"I wouldn't say _insane_, but it hurts," said Spike.

The host then turned back to Buffy. "Well, I'll be happy to help, honey. It's not every day I come across a Slayer and a vampire who're best pals. Now all your friend needs to do is wait his turn; he can choose a song while he waits." The demon gestured to where another demon was up on stage singing.

Spike winched. "Do I really have to sing?"

"You'll be fine, you big baby," Buffy teased.

"Yeah, alright," he said. "But I'll only do it if _you_ do it after. Recall I'm not the only one who needs help."

Buffy hesitated. _Lorne will figure out the deal with me and might say something. But then again, he might be able to help me; the Oracles told me why I'm here, but I still don't know what to do, or how to go about this thing_. She nodded. "OK. I'll give it a go after."

"Great!" Lorne was almost bouncing from the excitement. "And it doesn't matter if you're a good singer or not. It's all about getting up there and giving it your best shot."

* * *

"_Pressure, pushin' down on me, pressin' down on you…_" Spike started off nervous, but the nerves soon wore off and he was prancing around enjoying himself.

Buffy had to smile at him. _We should do this more often; it'll take his mind of the whole 'guilty-soul' thing_. "Getting anything?"

Lorne nodded. "Firstly, he needs to get himself into a _Queen_ Tribute band, 'cause he's really feeling this one. He's a performer."

"He used to be a poet before he got vamped," supplied Buffy. "But what about his whole soul thing?"

"He's in pain; I got that right off the bat, sweetheart," said Lorne. "But it's worse for him; he feels more than anyone I've ever encountered, be it human or demon. I'd wager that even before he got that little spark in his heart, he felt."

Buffy nodded. "He was in a relationship with this other vampire. She… Well, things happened and she's not around anymore. I don't think she'll be coming back." _Unless she returns with Angel… Wait, if Angel returns, he'll be soulless. Oh God, how am I gonna deal with that?_

"What I'm saying is those feelings are greater than ever, and it just makes the pain harder to bear," the host continued. "He has empathy; he feels for everyone. And someone with that amount of empathy having to deal with all that built up guilt… Well, I'm surprised he hasn't killed himself by now."

"He tried to," said Buffy. "Several times. I was able to convince him to keep on living – or rather, _existing_, since he's not technically _alive_, but… Oh, you know what I mean."

Lorne glanced at her. "Then you must be a very special young lady."

_He doesn't love me yet, so it can't be that_. She turned back to where Spike was still singing onstage. _When did he start loving me, anyway?_

* * *

_That wasn't so bad. I actually quite enjoyed that_, Spike thought as he hopped off the stage and approached the table where Buffy and the host were sat.

"He get anything?" he asked Buffy.

She nodded, as did the host. "Why don't you go pick a song out for yourself, honey?" the demon told Buffy. "In the meantime I can give Billy Idol here his readings."

Buffy rose from her seat and approached the stage.

"OK, for starters," Spike began as he sat down, "that guy stole _my_ look."

"I'm sure he did," said Lorne. "The humans may have invented great music, but when it comes to great ideas, they tend to be thieves in that area." He sat up straight. "So, about you; you were great up there. Have you performed before?"

Spike shrugged. "A couple of times back in the seventies. Nothing much. But, um…what about…?"

"Right, the reading." He sighed. "You have the strongest empathy I've ever seen, even in Humans, and that's making the guilt worse. Killing complete strangers; well, some people would feel guilty, but not to the unbearable level you're feeling right now. But you empathize with everyone, not matter who they are; you feel more strongly than anyone I've ever seen. And that extra weight is something I wouldn't wish on anyone."

Spike sighed. "I had a feelin' that was the case. I've always felt, even before I got the spark. But what do I do about it? Sometimes the pain is just unbearable."

"Let me guess." The demon leaned in closer. "It gets unbearable whenever that pretty little thing isn't around." He gestured to where Buffy was setting up a stool on the stage, having chosen a slow song.

Spike didn't know what to say, because the demon was _right_. Whenever Buffy was around, the pain was less. She was his friend; despite everything he had done, she'd helped him, and at the same time he had helped her.

His mind wandered to that first night, when she had fallen against him soaking wet from her shower, wearing nothing but a towel… The vampire shook his head. _Thinkin' dangerous thoughts there_.

Buffy sat herself down on the stool as music began to play. "_The winter here's cold, and bitter; it's chilled us to the bone…_"

"Oh, that is lovely," said Lorne, but Spike wasn't paying attention to the demon.

His eyes were fixed upon Buffy as she sang, mesmerizing him. Her voice wasn't flawless or perfect, but it also wasn't terrible; it was somewhere in the middle, and it sounded…nice.

He didn't have a heartbeat, but his body was reacting in ways that were familiar to him. _I haven't felt this way since…since Drusilla. Oh God, here I bloody go again…_

* * *

Spike had walked on ahead up the steps when a hand placed itself on Buffy's shoulder, and she turned. Lorne was giving her that look – one which made her feel like he was looking right into her soul.

"I know you're conflicted," he said. "But just go with the flow, cupcake, and you'll be fine." His eyes then fell upon the stairs, staring after Spike. "And stick with that vampire, OK? You can still help each other."

"But how?" Buffy asked.

The demon smiled. "You'll see."


	6. Chapter Six: For My Sister

"Bleedin' crime, it is."

Buffy blinked in surprise at the familiar voice before turning to see Spike stood behind her, hands in his pockets as he leaned against the wall. "Spike? What are you doing here?" She had just finished her shift, and while she had finished a little later than usual…

"Came to see what was holdin' you up," he said. "The fact that I _came_ is a good indication as to the why." He gestured to the dark sky. "They shouldn't make you work this bloody late; as I said, bleedin' crime. There're all sorts out on the streets."

"I may not be slaying anymore, but I can still defend myself," said Buffy, lying about the slaying part. She needed to keep up the pretence that she was hung up over what had happened, else Spike might suspect something. In truth, she had slayed a couple of vamps and even a few demons. "It's the 'all sorts' who'll need defending from _me_. And I certainly don't need a bodyguard to walk me home."

The vampire raised his hands up in defence. "Was only checkin' on you, pet. I know you can handle yourself." The pair began to walk down the street. "So what say we go get ourselves a drink at Lorne's place?"

They had returned to the demon bar several times after their first visit. It kept Buffy up to date with what was going on in the demon world, and kept her connected – because no matter how much the hidden world had ruined her once normal life, she couldn't find it in herself to turn her back on it.

She also made sure to keep an ear out for anything sounding suspicious – suspicious meaning anything that might have to do with a Hell-god from another dimension. Finding out where Glory – or Ben – resided was her top priority on the list of things she had to change. Get rid of Glory, save Dawn.

_But if I do it too soon, she won't exist. But knowing the whereabouts of either party would help_. Realizing she still hadn't answered Spike's question, she nodded. "We'll go back to the apartment first so I can change." She gave him a sideways grin. "Look at you, coming out all on your own."

"I was worried, recall?" he reminded her with a shrug. "If it weren't for you, Slayer, I'd be dust."

"I know." She tried not to think about how it always worried her whenever she went to work that, when she came back, Spike may not be there; that a pile of dust would be all that was left of him. He had assured her that he wouldn't do it, but what if the pain one day got too much for him?

_Hard to believe that a few months ago – both in this time and in the future-past – I wouldn't have cared less if he staked himself_.

* * *

"Hey there, sugars," Lorne greeted the pair from behind the bar. "What can I get you two tonight?"

"A coke will be fine," replied Buffy. _I can't get anything stronger, anyway; still only a kid here. Not that the alcohol would do much to a Slayer. Which reminds me; I need to stay away from the beer when I start college. That was embarrassing_.

"A beer," said Spike. They took a seat at the bar as Lorne prepared their drinks, and Spike glanced towards where a blue-skinned demon was singing on stage. "Any good singers tonight?"

"None; they all wanted me to solve their problems." Lorne sighed. "I love helping them, and all, but it's always about _them_. What about me and my sensitive ears? I'll have to have a talk with Mr. Blue up there about his growing financial issues." He turned back to the vampire as he placed the two drinks down. "Why don't you do a number tonight?"

"I was thinkin' 'bout _Don't Stop Me Now_." Spike shrugged. He would never admit to anyone other than Buffy and Lorne that he liked performing, and was glad that no one else in the bar questioned his frequency up on the stage.

Lorne gestured to where the blue demon was finishing. "Go right ahead."

Spike took a gulp from his drink before hoping from the stool and striding over to the stage.

"Go get 'em, tiger!" Buffy called after him. She liked watching Spike perform, and not just because it helped ease the pain in his guilty soul. He had a really nice voice.

She ignored the Goosebumps forming on her arms as the vampire took to the stage.

"Can I get the usual?"

Buffy's eyes widened. _I know that voice_. She turned slowly to her right, and her eyes only widened more at the sight of the very familiar medical intern sat next to her.

Ben didn't notice her staring until his drink was in front of him. "Um, hi. You new here?"

"I, err… I've been here a couple of times," she replied, trying to hold down her rage. _This is the guy sharing a body with a Hell-god – the Hell-god who came after Dawn_. "The normal bars weren't exciting enough."

He laughed, and Buffy resisted the urge to punch him in the face. "Yeah, I hear you. This kind of thing's always been in my life, though; it's kinda hard to ignore."

_So he already knows about Glory_, thought Buffy. She wanted to just slam his head against the bar, but kept reminding herself that Ben was an innocent; he didn't want to share a body with a Hell-god, but he didn't have a choice. _No matter what his so called roommate did to all of us…did to Dawn…_

"I'm Ben, by the way."

Buffy was about to reply with her own name but caught herself, recalling the guise she had created. Should he show up in the diner and ask for "Buffy", that wouldn't go down well. "I'm Anne."

Ben nodded, before he started talking about something else – but Buffy wasn't listening. Her thoughts were racing; memories kept surfacing of all that had happened during the last year in her own time. How much pain Glory had caused, what she had done to Spike and Tara, how she had tried to use Dawn for her own ends, how broken Dawn had been upon discovering what she really was… And it was all because of the young man sat beside her.

Suddenly Buffy wasn't feeling so good.

"Are you OK, Anne?" asked Ben.

She shook her head. "I just need some air." She hopped down from the stool and hurried out the bar. Only when she got outside did she realize that Ben had followed her. "I didn't need you to follow me." _So I'm not tempted to do what I have to…_

"It's a typical LA evening, and that's just the muggers alone," said Ben. "You've seen the guys in there; could you really take one of those things?"

_You have no idea_. "I'm fine. Please, just go back inside."

Their heads turned at the sound of growling. A group of three vampires were approaching, faces ready for the kill. Ben placed himself in front of Buffy in an attempt to protect her. "We need to get back inside. They won't be able to follow."

But Buffy wasn't listening – for in turning his back to her, Ben had given her a perfect view of his could-easily-be-broken neck.

The Slayer tried to get a hold of herself. Ben was still technically an innocent; a human. Not to mention that if she killed him, Dawn would never exist. And yet the flashes of memory kept coming; Dawn's innocent face, screaming in terror as Ben transformed into Glory before snatching her and taking her away…

It only took a second. Grab. Snap. Drop.

Not even the three vampires could believe it.

"He's all yours," was all Buffy said to them, before she turned and walked back into the club.

She barely got halfway down the stairs before tears began to form in her eyes.


	7. Chapter Seven: Truth and Lies

"_Don't stop me now; I'm having such a good time…_" Spike wasn't sure how he was able to compose himself and keep going when he spotted Buffy talking to a young man sat next to her.

The vampire felt a twinge of jealously but shook it off. _You can't go feelin' like that, mate. You don't stand a chance with her, especially after what happened with Angel. It's best she find herself a normal guy to be with_. And yet, he couldn't pull his eyes away from the pair.

He was able to keep going when he noticed Lorne frowning at him. _And now the green sod probably knows what I feel for her. Great_.

Towards the end of the song he noticed Buffy hurry from the club with the young man following after. Spike resisted the urge to go after them; he knew he couldn't make a scene, and he also knew Buffy could take care of herself.

But when the song finally ended and the vampire hopped down from the stage, he saw Buffy re-enter the club – without the young man.

And looking like she was about to cry.

"Buffy?" He called for her attention, and when she looked up at him he saw the tears welling up in her eyes. "Buffy, luv, what's wrong?"

Like she had done weeks before, Buffy collapsed against him. Spike felt the wetness of her tears through his shirt as she openly wept, thankfully not drawing the attention of the club. "I had to… He was an innocent guy, but I had to… For Dawn…"

"Buffy?" There was that name again. Dawn. Buffy hadn't mentioned the name after that first night, and since then she had listed the names of her friends; Willow, Xander, Cordelia, Oz… But no Dawn. "Who's Dawn?"

"Oh dear." Spike looked up and saw Lorne approaching. "You may need to take her home; it looks like the poor dear's worked herself up. Probably something to do with that guy who ran out after her; I sensed something off about him."

Spike placed both arms around the Slayer and held her close. "Can you help?"

"The only person who can help her now is you," said Lorne. "Take her home. Try talking to her. I'm sure she'll explain everything."

Spike nodded before gently leading Buffy out of the club. When they walked outside the vampire caught a whiff of what was unmistakably death; someone had recently been killed outside, and vampires had gotten to him…

_Him_. The smell was that of a young male, and looking down at Buffy, Spike began to piece together what had happened. _So a couple of vamps jumped them, Buffy lived while the bloke got dragged off. I can see why she'd feel guilty; he'd still be alive if he hadn't followed her out_.

They made their way home in silence; Spike didn't say a word and instead allowed her to sob, letting it all out. It would make it easier for her to talk once they got home and it was all out of her system.

When they arrived back at the apartment, Spike took off his duster and hung it up on the back of the door. Seeing Buffy just standing motionless in the doorway where he'd left her, he sighed before gently guiding her to the couch. He removed her jacket and hung it next to his own before they both sat down.

"Buffy?" he tried, gently taking her hand in his. "Luv, say something. If that guy was killed by vamps, it wasn't your fault. He chose to follow you out. It wasn't like you killed him yourself."

Finally she turned to look at him, the guilt written all over her face. "But that's just it. I _did_ kill him myself."

He frowned. "I don't follow."

"He… Ben… He may have been an innocent guy, but…" She took in deep breaths, as if it was painful for her to say. "He was sharing a body with this…this _thing_. This thing made vampires look mild. I…I had to kill it before it got out, and the only way to do that was to kill Ben, but I still killed a man, and not only that but now I'll never have Dawn…" She began sobbing again.

"Hold on a minute." Spike place both hands on her shoulders, keeping her stable. "What are you talkin' 'bout, Buffy? Who's Dawn?"

She sighed. "I'm about to tell you something you probably won't believe, and I'll understand if you don't, but please just listen. You'll be the only person who knows this."

"I've seen a lot of weird things in my time," said Spike. "Try me, Buffy."

The Slayer took in a deep breath before saying, "I'm Buffy from three years into the future."

* * *

It felt good to get it all off her chest, and Buffy was glad she'd finally told someone.

She told Spike everything; about what had happened with Angel the first time around, the incident with Faith and the Mayor, Spike's many returns to Sunnydale before getting chipped, the Initiative, and finally the incident with Dawn and Glory.

She told him everything – apart from how he had eventually fallen in love with her. Instead she just explained that with the chip in his brain, he lost the killer instinct and became a big brother of sorts to Dawn.

When she was finally done, Spike just stared at her. The first words he said warmed her heart.

"I didn't seriously hurt anyone, did I?" he asked. "While I was still evil?"

"No," she said, shaking her heard. "The worst you did was kidnap Willow and Xander, which made them get with the smoochies which then made Cordelia a bitch again. But then again, the reason they were in that situation was because Willow was trying to conjure up an anti-love spell to _stop_ them from having smoochie thoughts." _I still have to decide what to do about that; it really set everyone back, but if I stopped it from happening Anya would never come_.

He nodded. "And you had a sister who was actually some kind of dimensional-opening ball of energy."

"But I won't now, since Glory's dead." She wiped a tear from her eye. "Dawn was annoying, but she was my sister and I loved her. Now I just have to get used to being an only child."

Spike placed an arm around her. "You'll be fine. So what do we do now?"

"Well, I was planning on staying in LA until the incident with the slaver demons. There's a friend of mine whose boyfriend will end up there, and I wanna save him and then give her some advice, too. Then it's back to Sunnydale."

"What about your friends? Surely they'll try and stake me when we get there."

"I don't think Willow would," Buffy admitted. "She actually grew to like you. My mum won't be a problem since she liked you too, and Oz will be indifferent about it, but he always is. Cordelia will probably just keep her distance from you. Xander never liked Angel, but he's never liked vampires since his friend got turned into one, and Giles… Well, he's a Watcher. That should speak for itself."

_I'm gonna have a lot of work convincing them all Spike's OK now…_ she thought. _I hope they don't decide upon the stake first, ask questions later reaction_.

"Will you tell them about this whole 'time-travel' thing?" Spike asked.

She shrugged. "I'll see how it goes. I will if I have to, but I don't want to confuse them. But I do feel bad about lying to them." _Just like how I feel bad about not telling you the whole truth. But I can't deal with another vampire loving me right now. I still have to figure out what to do with un-souled Angel when he gets here_.


	8. Chapter Eight: Familiar Faces

Buffy wasn't sure why she was having the dream again. _Are my dreams gonna be the same too?_ She recalled the ones she had about Angel before he came back, and really hoped this one was a one-off.

She was in a dress standing on the LA beach, watching the sun set. She counted the seconds until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her waist, and she wanted to pull away from him…

_Wait…that's not Angel_.

She turned and realized it was Spike. "Just though I'd join you, luv." His face grew closer, and Buffy felt her heart beating faster the closer he got…

…until she woke up to sirens outside.

_That was… OK, I don't know what that was._ She didn't know what to think about _that_ dream. The Slayer admitted to thinking better of Spike after he was tortured by Glory, and they had developed a friendship during their time in LA. But anything more than that?

She tried to ignore her confused heart as she drifted back to sleep again.

* * *

Buffy side-stepped to avoid the customer smacking her rear, before she proceeded to the next table. _Looks like it's time_, she thought when she saw Lily and Rickie sitting together intimately. _Just play it normally_. "You guys ready?"

"Yeah, I think we're good." Rickie's eyes never left Lily, and Buffy smiled. It was couples like them which gave her hope that all love wasn't hard. The young boy's eyes only looked up to read Buffy's name tag before he turned once more to his girlfriend.

"What will you have?" asked Buffy.

Rickie dug around in his pocket and pulled out a handful of change. "What can we get with this?"

"Can we get cake?" asked Lily.

"No, we've gotta eat healthy. We can't have cake," said Rickie. "Can we get pie?"

"We've got a peach pie," said Buffy. She resisted the urge to address Lily; the girl had to recognize her in her own time.

"We shouldn't have blown all our money," said Lily.

"It was worth it." Rickie put his and Lily's arms down on the table, showing Buffy the matching tattoos. "Hey, check this out."

Buffy smiled. "That's really sweet."

That's when Lily looked at her in recognition. "Hey, do I know you?"

Buffy pretended to recognize her. "Yeah, I think I recognize you… Sunnydale?"

Her eyes lit up. "Yes! You're, um… Buffy? Why does your name tag say Anne?"

"Long story." She shrugged.

"That's Buffy?" said Rickie, looking between the pair. "She's the…" He looked around before lowering his voice. "…Vampire Slayer?"

Buffy blinked in surprise, and noticing this Lily said, "Rickie was from another group in LA. We met when I came and told them what…happened." The pair kissed.

"Hey, do you guys have a place to stay?" asked Buffy.

Both shook their heads as Lily replied, "We've been living on the streets for the past few months. You don't have to offer, if that's what you're doing; we don't want to intrude, or anything."

"No, it's OK," said Buffy. "I'm planning on going back to Sunnydale, anyway. So there'll be an opening here as a waitress and I'm pretty sure they're looking for an extra hand in the kitchen."

It didn't take long for Buffy to convince them. _They really were desperate. Poor kids_.

* * *

Buffy was able to get off work early and proceeded to lead the pair back to her apartment. Then remembering the waiting vampire, she turned to Lily. "OK, before we get there, there's something you need to know. Do you remember the vampire who…um…bit you? He's um…"

"There?" Lily's eyes showed panic.

"It's a long story, but he's not gonna hurt you," said Buffy, reassuring her. "To cut it short, he ended up regaining his human soul and now he's living in guilt for all he's done, including what happened."

The panic died. "If he's guilty… Oh, that must be horrible for him."

Buffy nodded in agreement. When they arrived back at the apartment, Buffy called out, "I'm back, Spike. I brought friends." She knew he would understand; they'd talked over it already.

Spike hesitantly appeared from another room…and at the sight of Lily, his eyes widened. "Oh…oh God. You… I… You were there when I…"

Buffy felt guilty, realizing she hadn't told Spike who Lily was. "Spike, it's OK. Calm down. It was when you didn't have a soul. Just take in deep breaths."

Rickie gripped Lily's hand protectively while the girl said, "Yeah, it's fine. You're OK now, right?" She turned to Buffy. "Has he been like this the whole time?" Her eyes showed sympathy, despite the fact that Spike had almost been the death of her.

_Angel almost killed me, too. That didn't stop me from loving him before_. "He's been getting better recently." Buffy placed a comforting hand on the vampire. "Try and take your mind off it. Have you heard anything?" It was his cue.

"Uh… Yeah. I heard about these demon types doin' something right nasty," he said. "They were takin' homeless kids from the streets; bringin' them to their dimension and puttin' them to work. I know where it is, too."

Buffy nodded, before turning to Lily and Rickie. "Are you guys OK to stay here? This shouldn't take long."

They both nodded, and Buffy could see the relief in their eyes, but not just because they were sleeping under a roof. _They probably know that could've been them getting sent to the demon dimension. At least that won't be happening this time_.

* * *

"You know, that was actually kinda fun."

Buffy smirked in agreement. They had been able to kill all the demons and free the people being kept down there, all in a night's work. "Slaying can be fun."

"I mean, I know I've got a soul now, but I'll always like fightin' the good fight," said Spike.

"You wouldn't be you if you didn't," said Buffy.

They reached the apartment and found Lily and Rickie asleep on the couch. The pair woke up at the sound of the door opening.

"Did you get them?" asked Lily.

Buffy nodded. "The demons gone, people freed. I said before I was thinking about going back to Sunnydale. Spike and I are gonna leave in the morning. I'll talk to the landlord before we leave, but the rent's been paid off for the next three weeks. And I spoke to Mitch at the diner before we left earlier; he said you can both start on Thursday."

The couple looked at her gratefully. "Thank you, Buffy," said Lily.

"There're just a couple more things," said Buffy. "There's this demon bar; I've written the directions on the counter. The demon that owns it, Lorne; please tell him that Spike and I have gone home. It's a nice place to hang out, and if you need any help don't be afraid to ask him. Also, if you ever meet a vampire called Angel, he's like Spike; he has a soul, and he can help you. Oh, and there's this law firm called Wolfram and Hart; don't trust them."

They looked confused by the last one, but nodded all the same. "Anything else?" asked Rickie.

Buffy smiled. "What you have is beautiful. Cherish it."


	9. Chapter Nine: Sunnydale

Buffy and Spike arrived in Sunnydale at sunset. They pulled up outside Buffy's house, but waited until the sun had gone down completely before getting out of the car.

"Are you sure you want me there, pet?" asked Spike. "I don't wanna intrude; it's your reunion with Mum."

"You've been with me the whole time, Spike," said Buffy. "You've helped me. She'll want to thank you."

Spike nodded as the two approached the front door, although the vampire took a step back. Buffy understood; he still wanted her to have her reunion.

She knocked on the door and waited. When Joyce answered the door, neither said a word like the last time; they just embraced, tears in both their eyes.

"Oh, Buffy…" Only when Joyce pulled away did she notice Spike standing a step behind Buffy. "Is that…?"

"Yeah, that's Spike," said Buffy. "Don't worry; he won't hurt us. He kinda got himself a soul."

"Like Angel?" Joyce looked confused. "But I thought Spike was on your side anyway, without it?"

"It was just a truce," said Spike. "We both didn't want the world to end; an enemy mine, if you will."

Buffy nodded. "But we're friends now. He stayed with me when I was in LA."

"You were in LA?" Joyce stepped aside and let them both in. "Mr. Giles had been looking for you everywhere."

"I figured," she said. She was about to take her bag up to unpack, when she noticed an open box. A familiar mask was sat inside. "Mum, where did you get that?"

"It came through this morning," Joyce replied.

Without a word, Buffy took out a knife from her bag and smashed the mask where its eyes were. It disappeared.

"Sorry," she apologized to her shocked mother. "Spike and I heard a zombie mask was getting shipped to Sunnydale. I just saved us a lot of trouble."

* * *

"So where are you gonna stay?" Buffy asked Spike once she was unpacked.

The vampire shrugged. "I was thinkin' the mansion. It was a pretty good setup before."

"We have a spare room," ventured Joyce, who had poked her head in to see how they were getting on. "You're always welcome here, Spike. It wouldn't be a problem."

Buffy flinched, thinking about Dawn. Spike must've noticed for he went on to say, "I don't think I could really settle in a place like this. No offence, Mum."

"None taken. I'm just happy you stayed with my Buffy." Joyce smiled as she left to go down the stairs.

"If I'm there," Spike continued, lowering his voice, "I'll also be able to keep an eye out in case you know who shows up."

Buffy nodded. "That'd be best. But first, I need to go and find the others. They'll be patrolling, and I need to save them from being eaten. You can come, if you want?"

"Don't you want to ease me into the Scooby dynamic?" asked Spike.

Buffy shook her head. "No. If they see you helping me, it'll help them deal."

* * *

The skirmish lasted a lot shorter than it did last time, although Buffy toyed with the vampire a little bit; she wanted her friends to see Spike fighting alongside her.

She saw Willow, Oz and Cordelia arrive and help Xander to his feet before turning to stake the vampire Spike had punched towards her.

"You weren't even tryin', were you, pet?" asked Spike.

"Only a fledge." Buffy shrugged, before turning to where her friends were all staring at her in shock. "Hey, guys."

"Buffy…" Xander was first to speak. "Why is Spike here?"

"And why are you all friendly with him?" Willow added.

Buffy sighed. "I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Willow, your re-souling spell came too late; I killed Angelus, he and Drusilla got dragged into Hell by Acathla, and Spike ended up with the soul."

"So Spike has Angel's soul?" asked Cordelia.

"He has the soul that was _meant_ for Angel, but it's Spike's," Buffy replied.

"Is that why you left?" asked Willow.

"I left because I sent my boyfriend to Hell, got kicked out of school and was wanted for murder," said Buffy. "I took him with me because he was gonna stake himself otherwise; he helped me even before he got the soul, so I helped him."

Oz chipped in helpfully, "You're not wanted for murder anymore."

"So _that's_ what you were talking about on the phone," said Willow.

Xander looked confused. "But he's still a vampire; you didn't just stake him?"

Spike flinched, and Buffy stopped herself from snapping at her friend. _That's another thing I need to sort out; Xander's anti-demon attitude really has to stop_. "He's really guilty about everything he's done, Xander. Probably even more so than Angel. He needed help."

Willow sensed the coming of an argument, so spoke up. "Have you seen Giles yet?"

Buffy shook her head. "I came to find you guys, first. We can head over there now?"

They all agreed and made their way over to the Watcher's house. When they arrived, Spike stayed behind Buffy's friends while she knocked on the door.

Giles opened it and just stared when he saw who it was.

"Check it out," Xander said, trying to break the tension.

Giles put on his glasses, but just as he was about to greet Buffy, he noticed the vampire stood behind them. "Buffy, is that-?"

"Yes, it's Spike. He has a soul, and he's good now," said Buffy. "I'll explain the full story when we get inside."

* * *

"Spike was with you the whole time?" asked Giles. Part of him couldn't believe that Buffy willingly took the vampire with her after what had happened to Angel.

"I spent a lot of the time chained up to the sink, if it helps?" said Spike.

"Only 'cause you tried to kill yourself," said Buffy. "But he helped once he got over it; we killed a couple of demons, a lot of vamps, and we found this friendly demon bar."

Xander blinked. "Demon bar? Where _were_ you, Buff?"

Giles poured out some tea. "Perhaps we should give Buffy some time to adjust before we start to grill her on her summer activities."

"No, it's OK, Giles," said Buffy. "I was in LA."

"That close?" asked Willow.

Cordelia spoke up. "You know, for someone who was worked up over the death of her boyfriend, the death of another friend, getting kicked out of school and home-"

"What did we say about subtlety, honey?" Xander cut in.

The cheerleader rolled her eyes. "For someone who went through all that and ran away because of it, you seem really OK with it now. I mean, I'm glad and all, but last time you came back from being away you weren't exactly yourself."

Buffy understood, but not about the incident Cordelia was referring to. In her mind, the shock of what had happened was long gone; she'd had three years while it had only seemed like a few months.

She shrugged. "I didn't want to come back until I was completely fine. Now I am. Why don't you all come by my house tomorrow? Mum can make dinner. But just you guys; no surprise parties where the whole school shows up and doesn't even know what they're celebrating about." She noticed Spike raise an eyebrow at that.

"What about school?" asked Giles. "You will have to convince Principal Snyder to-"

"On it," said Buffy. "Mum's making an appointment with is Royal Ugliness."

"Or we could just take the easy route and let me intimidate him," Spike suggested. "I may be souled now, but he doesn't know that."

"And if you ate him as well, no one would really care," said Xander. "In fact we encourage it."

Buffy's friends laughed in agreement, and Giles thought to himself that having Spike around may not be so bad, after all.


	10. Chapter Ten: The New Slayer

Buffy laughed. "Oh, I would've given all the money in the world to see the look on his face when you walked into his office." She was helping Spike organize things at the mansion.

He smirked. "My soul may stop me from killin' people, but even that little spark hates your principal. Would've eaten him, but figured then you'd never get back in."

"Thanks, Spike. Now I don't have to bring picnics up to the guys anymore," she said.

"Did they like it?" asked Spike.

Buffy nodded; the picnic had worked out exactly as it had the last time around, except for the talk about Scott Hope. Buffy had turned Willow down on her suggestion; she couldn't deal with that again.

_He wanted me, and then he didn't. Boys can be really picky sometimes_. "Do you wanna hang out at the Bronze tomorrow night? You can tell the gang what you did."

"I don't wanna intrude," said Spike. "They're _your_ friends, Slayer."

"But I think they're starting to like you," said Buffy. "At least Willow and Oz do. I'm sure Xander and Cordelia will warm up once you tell them what happened with Snyder."

"Like a common enemy sort of thing?"

She smiled, nodding. "Also there's this boy at school who's been wanting to ask me out, and if you're there he won't try."

Buffy swore she saw a flash of jealousy in the vampire's eyes, but it was gone as fast as it had come. "You think I can intimidate him with my manliness and chillin' glare?"

She laughed, deciding not to tell him that wasn't the reason – that the reason was to make Scott think she and Spike were a couple. _Just to keep Scott away_.

* * *

The dream was the same as it had been three years ago. Buffy was in the Bronze, dancing in the arms of a vampire with her friends sat nearby watching.

It was also the same as the last dream she had – in that instead of Angel, she was dancing with Spike.

She looked up and found herself getting lost in his blue eyes. "I love you, Buffy. I never needed a soul to love you."

Buffy awoke with a start with the words ringing in her ears.

She was unaware that across town, Spike also awoke from the same dream.

* * *

When Buffy entered the Bronze she scanned the dance floor; after spotting Faith dancing with the vampire like last time, she sighed and made her way over to her friends.

She was surprised to see Spike already there, talking with them.

"Oh, Buffy!" said Willow, spotting her. "Spike was just telling us about how he confronted Principal Snyder in his office."

"I never thought I'd say this, but he's earned my respect," said Xander.

Buffy smiled. _Common enemy, indeed_. She had a feeling it would probably be the same when and if Angel showed up; both the boy and the vampire hated Buffy's former boyfriend.

"How'd your English make up test go, pet?" asked Spike.

Buffy tried to avoid eye contact with him as she replied. "I passed. It's all good for now." _Don't get lost in his eyes, don't get lost in his eyes…_ She didn't notice that he was hesitant to look at her as well when she sat down next to him.

Xander and Cordelia got up to dance, and that was when Buffy noticed Scott. She had told Willow not to try and convince him that he had a chance, but understood that he would still be at the Bronze, anyway. It was a popular hang-out, after all.

When she saw him notice the group, she whispered to Spike, "Boy who likes me at 2 o'clock. Arm around me, now."

She ignored the butterflies in her stomach when Spike hesitantly put an arm around her. She smile and pretended to laugh, watching Scott out of the corner of her eye; she noticed his smile vanish before turning away.

Willow looked between them, confused. "What was that all about?"

"I'm trying to show Scott that I'm not interested," said Buffy. She ignored the disappointment at the pit of her stomach when Spike removed his arm. _Ugh, stop thinking like that. He's a friend. I doubt he thinks about you like that_.

"But why?" asked Willow. "I know I said it before, and I don't wanna push you or anything, but the guy has charm. And he's normal."

"I'm the Slayer; I doubt I can ever settle for normal." She tried not to think about Riley, and how he'd been unable to deal with the fact that she was stronger than him.

Cordelia and Xander walked over. "Check out sluterama and her disco date. What was the last thing that guy danced to?"

Spike sat up, and Buffy noticed his vampire senses on full alert. "I think there's a good reason for that." He looked to Buffy for confirmation.

She nodded; she'd already warned him they'd be meeting the new Slayer tonight. "Yep. Vampire." They both leapt to their feet and followed the pair out of the Bronze. Their friends gave chase.

When they got there, Faith was already beating up the vampire. She turned to acknowledge the group. "It's OK, I got it. You're Buffy, right? I'm Faith. Can I borrow that?" She took the stake from Buffy and used it to dust the vampire. "Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you."

"Lively one," Spike commented.

Faith saw him and got into a fighting stance. "B, he's a-"

Buffy instantly took a step between them. "He's fine, he has a human soul. He doesn't kill people."

The other Slayer relaxed. "Oh, cool. I can see why you keep him around. He's hot."

Buffy ignored the flash of jealousy that shot through her.

* * *

"So what's happening with New Slayer?" asked Spike.

The two were making their way back to the mansion. A lot had happened over the past few days, and Buffy had been able to change a few things. She'd stopped Xander from wanting to know too much about Faith, but for the main part, she'd been able to help the other Slayer deal with her issues.

Kakistos was dead, and Spike had been able to kill Mr. Trick as well, which had hopefully set the Mayor back. "The Council decided to keep her here until a new Watcher can be assigned. Keep an eye out for the first one who comes; she's a nasty piece of work."

Spike nodded. "Has that boy tried anything else since the Bronze?"

Buffy bit her lip. Scott had tried again, one last time. He'd insisted upon friendship, having acknowledged that Buffy was with someone else, and tried to give her the ring like last time. Buffy hadn't freaked out, and instead had told him an ex-boyfriend had given her a ring just like it. Scott had apologized and left, and Buffy was certain he wouldn't try again.

"No," she lied, not wanting to tell Spike about it. She quickly walked on ahead before Spike could question further.

* * *

_She's hiding something_, Spike realized, but decided not to ask her about it. He thought perhaps something had gone down between her and the boy. _She can take care of herself; I won't pry_.

Watching her as she walked on ahead, Spike thought about what she'd told Willow before. _She said she could never settle for normal. Does that mean we could…?_ But he shook his head. _No, she said she didn't wanna go through that again. In a way, I'm just like Angel; a vampire with a soul. If I risk losing it…_ The thought of him turning back into a killer and potentially harming her sent chills down his spine.

He caught up with her when she was about to step into the mansion – but before either could acknowledge the other, they saw a blinding light flash from inside.

_Oh no…_ Spike knew what this meant and hurried inside behind Buffy. They froze when they saw what they knew would happen.

There was Angel, soaking wet and naked, shaking on the floor in torment.


	11. Chapter Eleven: Realization

"He hasn't got a soul," said Spike. "I can smell it."

Buffy acted quickly. She hurried over to Angel and gave him a kick to the head, knocking him out. "Spike, chains!" she called over her shoulder. The vampire hurried away to fetch them. Together they chained Angel's wrists. Spike was about to fasten the other end to where Buffy had done it before, but she shook her head. "Not there. He broke off from there last time."

They found a more secure place to chain him up. When they were sure he wouldn't break free, they stepped out of the room to discuss what to do next.

"There's no soul in him," said Spike. "And we all know how well _that_ went last time."

"I know." Buffy sighed.

"Stake him?"

The Slayer shook her head. "The Oracles told me Angel has his own destiny. The Powers have plans for him, which is why they brought him back. If I staked him, they'd just bring him back again."

"How?" he asked.

"They'd find a way," said Buffy. "Darla was staked and she got brought back."

Spike sighed. "They could've at least given him a soul."

"There's only so much they can do." Buffy shrugged.

"So what do we do?"

"I'll have to ask Willow to perform the spell," said Buffy. "I would ask her tonight, but she's with Oz during his werewolf phase." She recalled warning her friend about making sure the windows were closed, and had also advised to get someone else other than Xander to take over.

Spike nodded. "I'm sure Angel can last one more night. Although I think I'll take Mum up on her offer of the spare room. I don't wanna be in the same buildin' as the poofter."

Buffy smiled in understanding, before her eyes widened when she recalled something. "Oh, I've just remembered. We have to stop that Jekyll and Hyde guy from killing someone tonight. He should be in the woods somewhere."

"And the fun in Sunnyhell just never stops," said Spike.

* * *

It didn't take them long to find Pete and the guy he was after. They mostly followed the screams of terror.

"I can smell the wanker's fear," said Spike as he and Buffy hurried through the bushes, chasing the two boys.

"I thought having a soul means you don't call anyone names like that?" asked Buffy.

"Some things just stick."

They found Pete dragging the boy away, and Buffy leapt. She kicked Pete, sending him flying and causing him to let go of the other boy. She turned to him and shouted, "Run!" The boy didn't need telling twice, and ran.

Pete tried to chase after him, but Spike got in the way and punched him. He sent the boy hurtling back to Buffy, who kicked him in the head. Pete growled and grabbed her, tossing her against a nearby tree.

"Buffy!" It was a cry but also a roar. Buff looked over at Spike and saw that he had vamped out.

He charged and grabbed Pete by the throat, before punching him repeatedly. Pete pushed against him, but all that earned in return was Spike tightening his grip, and it wasn't long before the vampire had enough and snapped the boy's neck.

He let the lifeless body drop to the ground. Pete's monstrous form reverted back to his human one, and Spike took in deep breaths as he began to back away. "Oh God. What've I done?"

Buffy rushed to him and grabbed both his arms, keeping him in place. "Spike, it's OK. You did what you had to do. There was no way to save him."

Spike looked into her eyes before his head fell against her chest. Buffy had a feeling her words wouldn't stop some of the guilt, but she did her best to comfort him. _At least we stopped Pete from taking three lives_.

* * *

Joyce was waiting for them when they got home. She took one look at Spike and said, "Buffy, what happened?"

"We ran into a little bit of monster trouble," said Buffy. "Is it OK if Spike stays over tonight?"

"Of course, honey," said Joyce. "Spike, do you want something to drink?"

"A cup of hot chocca would be nice," he said. "With those little marshmallows if you have any?"

Joyce smiled and went to make it. Buffy helped Spike up the stairs, but paused when they reached the spare room. _The room that should be Dawn's – that will never be Dawn's_.

Spike saw her hesitate. "We can go into your room for now."

Buffy nodded in appreciation before continuing on to her room. They sat down on the bed, and seeing that Spike was still shaking, Buffy gave his shoulder a rub. "It'll be fine. He wasn't himself, and I don't think he's been himself in a long time."

"He was still a boy," said Spike. "He was still alive, and I killed him."

"Like what I did with Ben," said Buffy. "The world isn't black and white, and sometimes we have to make the hard choices for the greater good. That's what being the Slayer's all about; something I have to live with."

"And Dawn?" asked Spike.

Buffy sighed. "I was so emotional when that happened. I'd lost my mum, and I didn't want to lose her, too – despite the fact that saving her meant damning the world. And when I jumped I didn't think about the consequences of what would happen to her afterwards. I'm…I'm ashamed and horrified to admit that had I been thinking straight, I would've made a different call."

"Because you're the Slayer, and you have to protect the world." Spike hesitantly wrapped and arm around her.

"But it's not just then; I've made many mistakes," said Buffy. "Angel loved me too much, but I didn't think about what it could mean to those around me until it was too late. Anybody who really loved me wouldn't have done what he did to me." She looked up at Spike. "In my time, even when you were trying to help, I hated you. I couldn't accept the fact that…that you could do good without a soul…while he couldn't…"

_That you could love me without a soul and he couldn't_.

Spike pulled her in closer. "It's alright, luv."

"It is now," said Buffy. "I used to love Angel, but I don't anymore. I'll never let myself fall for him again; I'm tired of getting hurt. But I'll still help him."

She looked up at Spike again and found that his face was closer than before. They both froze.

They pulled apart quickly when they heard Joyce coming up the stairs again, and tried to act natural when she entered with two mugs of hot chocolate. But of course, mothers always knew best, and Joyce hid a smirk when she left the room again.


	12. Chapter Twelve: Homecoming

"I still don't understand how he's here."

"Neither do we, Willow." Buffy and Spike led Willow to the mansion, carrying all they needed for the spell to restore Angel's soul.

They had explained to the witch that Angel had returned without his soul, and had asked her to try the spell again. Willow had agreed to it; she liked Angel despite what had happened, and was willing to try and get him back.

"At least I get to try magic again," she said. "Xander and I were gonna meet up and try on our Homecoming clothes, but I guess we could do it another time."

Buffy bit her lip. She knew it was that night when her two friends started having the mixed feelings for each other; she had decided to try and stop it, guessing it couldn't hurt. Then if the relationships didn't work out in the future, it would happen naturally. "Maybe we can meet up tomorrow night?" Buffy suggested.

"Sure, Buffy," said Willow. "And then the six of us can all squeeze into the limo on Homecoming. Unless there'll be a seventh person?" She looked at Buffy hopefully.

"Still no date, but I don't mind." She shrugged.

Willow suddenly stepped in front of the Slayer and the Vampire. "No, I won't accept that. Which is why I'll cut you a deal; I'll give Angel his soul back, so long as you two go together."

Both their eyes widened, before they stumbled over their words.

"I can't go to a soddin' kids' party-"

"I don't think having a vampire there would be a good idea-"

"I don't even have a tux-"

"Can seven of us even fit? And I don't think Faith will-"

"Resolve face, Buffy." Willow pulled it.

Buffy sighed before looking at Spike. "You can't argue when she pulls that face. We better just agree to it."

"Fine," he said. Buffy didn't know that was secretly thrilled at the thought of going with her.

Willow nodded, her mission accomplished, before they continued up to the mansion. Upon arrival they found Angel still chained up, growling and snarling like a feral animal. _At least he hasn't regained some sanity_, thought Buffy. The thought of Angelus taunting them was a little much for her.

The trio set up what they needed for the spell, and once they were sat down and ready, Willow began to chant. That chanting became faster and her voice deepened, before the witch's head fell back and she chanted in another language.

Buffy had been told this would happen, although it still took her off guard. Even Spike didn't know how to react.

"Is Red alright?" he asked.

Buffy just nodded.

As the spell ended, the orb in front of them vanished from its cushion, and at the same time Angel cried out in pain. Buffy looked over at him just in time to see a flash in his eyes before he collapsed.

She got up and approached him cautiously, Spike behind her. Willow took in deep breaths to recover, but was watching as well.

Angel gasped from the pain before he looked up. His eyes squinted, focussing as he caught sight of Buffy. "Buffy? What happened?"

Buffy couldn't reply. What could she say to that? "You…uh…you went away for a while. But you're back now." She gestured for Spike to unchain him; while the younger vampire hesitated, he did as asked.

"Everything's so muddled." He then noticed Spike. "What's Spike doing here? Why isn't he hurting you?"

"Spike kinda…got himself a soul," said Buffy.

"How?" But right after Angel asked the question, his eyes widened. The memories were coming back to him. "Oh…Oh God…no… What did I…? What have I done?" He tried to reach out for Buffy, but she took a step back.

"Rest," she told him. Part of her wanted to leave, but another part of her knew she couldn't; she may not have loved him in that way anymore, but she still considered him a friend. And friends helped each other.

"So tomorrow night then?" asked Willow as she began to pack up.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. And don't tell the others about Angel yet." The witch nodded in understanding.

Once Willow was gone, Spike approached Buffy while his eyes never left the sobbing Angel. "Is it alright to leave him here on his own?"

"He never tried to stake himself before," said Buffy. "But we can't leave him yet."

"Oh, I know that," said Spike. "I was just thinkin' 'bout stayin' with you and your mum permanently. Forehead may not stake himself, but he may not have a problem with stakin' _me_."

* * *

"I look bloody ridiculous."

"No you don't, Spike," said Joyce. "I think you look handsome. Buffy will love it."

"You think so?" Spike asked, spinning around in the tux he'd picked out. Only then did he notice Joyce's grin, and realized what it meant.

Joyce seemed to pick up on his realization. "I was never really a fan of Angel. Something about him sent alarms off in my head."

"You wouldn't be the first," said Spike.

She laughed. "And I understand that Buffy doesn't want to make a choice like that again. But… I like you, Spike. And if you two do decide to try it out, then you have my approval."

Spike stared at her in shock. _Did she just say what I think she just said?_ "I don't think Buffy thinks of me in that way, Joyce."

"Mothers know best," said Joyce. "She feels something for you, Spike. I can see it in her eyes."

Even so, Spike didn't want to get his hopes up. _And if she does feel something, she wouldn't go for it. Not after what happened with Angel. The bastard really broke her_.

"I'm coming down," he heard Buffy call from the top of the stairs. He turned to see her wearing a red dress that did wonders to her form, and his mouth dropped.

* * *

Buffy didn't miss the look of amazement on Spike's face, and it gave her Goosebumps. _God, get your head on straight, girl. I can't feel like that around Spike – even though he does look handsome in that tux_.

The limo arrived shortly afterwards to pick them up, and the pair climbed in alongside their friends.

Buffy was surprised that none of them had objected to Spike tagging along. Of course it was Willow's idea in the first place, and she had a feeling Oz had something to do with it, too. Xander and Cordelia seemed OK, as well; she guessed Spike had earned a place in their good books after scaring Principal Snyder.

Heck, even _Giles_ seemed to be OK with the vampire.

Buffy decided not to tell the gang about Angel that night; after all, they were out to enjoy themselves. She kept an eye out for the group that had hunted her down last time, but knew she didn't need to worry; Mr. Trick, who had organized it, had been taken care of. _And at least I'm not arguing with Cordelia like last time_. Cordelia had still run for Homecoming Queen, but Buffy hadn't. She knew it would be pointless.

When they finally arrived at the dance, they each broke off into their couples (apart from Faith, who wandered off to find an unattached boy to dance with). Buffy and Spike spent the first few dances by the punch bowl until Willow approached.

"Guys, at least have _one_ dance," she nagged them.

Buffy's eyebrow rose. She didn't really understand why her friend was playing matchmaker, but decided to humour her. "OK, if you say so." She turned to Spike, who just wordlessly nodded, before they took to the dance floor.

A slow song came on, and the pair looked around nervously at the other couples dancing. "We should probably…" Spike gestured to them all.

"Everyone else is doing it," said Buffy. "It wouldn't hurt…" She placed her arms on Spike's shoulders as he placed his own around her waist. They began to sway to the music. "This is…nice."

"I suppose," Spike agreed. Both their eyes drifted close as the song continued.

They didn't realize they had danced like this for five songs until a grinning Willow tapped Buffy's shoulder and gestured to where Cordelia was stood on stage, accepting the Homecoming crown.


	13. Chapter Thirteen: Just Friends

The hardest part was telling the rest of the gang about Angel's return. In part it played out like last time; like Willow, Oz was more cautious while Xander and Cordelia didn't trust the vampire, with Giles and Joyce somewhere in the middle. _Never thought I'd see the day when my friends and family prefer __Spike__ over Angel_. Faith was just indifferent about it, but then again she hadn't seen what Angelus could do.

Getting rid of the candy had been easy. It was thanks to a lie Spike thought up; he told Giles he'd heard a rumour at Willy's that Ethan Rayne was back in Sunnydale. The Watcher, with Willow's help, was able to chase his former friend out of town before the candy could be sent out. With Giles distracted, Buffy and Spike were able to kill the demon Lurconis.

Dealing with Gwendolyn Post was a little harder. In the end Buffy lied that she'd experienced a dream about the woman, and thought Giles should check with the Council. He did, and found out her true intentions. Gwendolyn was arrested and taken away by the Council. Once again using the distraction, Buffy and Spike were able to find the Glove of Myneghon and destroy it. She was thankful that it happened before Faith developed a form of attachment to the false Watcher; she knew it was her distrust of people which had led to her turning dark.

The days past. Buffy got her test results back, and had the college talk with her mother. Christmas Eve arrived – thankfully with no sign of the First Evil.

Buffy and Spike made their way up to the mansion to visit Angel, a bag of blood in Buffy's hand.

"I don't see why he can't get his own ruddy blood," Spike complained.

"Angel…still has issues about going out," said Buffy. She knew in part this was her fault; she hadn't visited him as often as the last time. "And he's still my friend."

Spike sighed. "You may think that, luv, but I don't think _he_ does. I can see it in his eyes; he wants you, but he's holdin' back 'cause he knows he can't have you. After what he did – after what happened between you two – I don't think he can accept it. Sorry if I'm steppin' out of line here, pet-"

"No, you're not," she said. "And believe me, this'll be the last time I get his blood."

When they arrived, Angel rose from his seat on the couch and approached. He shot Spike a glare which Buffy ignored.

"Here." She handed him the bag.

Angel took out the cup of blood. "Do the others want to see me yet?" he asked. "I…I don't wanna try seeing them until I know they're…well, OK with me."

"I think they're still getting used to it," said Buffy.

"Are they still getting used to _him_?" Angel gestured to Spike.

The younger vampire shrugged. "They seem to like me."

Angel didn't know what to say to that. "Buffy, can I talk to you _alone_?"

Buffy sighed, but nodded. She turned to Spike. "Just wait outside. It won't take long."

Spike looked reluctant to leave her, but he did, grudgingly. Buffy stood before her ex, suspecting what he was going to say.

"How can you be around him?" asked Angel.

"The same way I can be around you," said Buffy. "You did worse than him, Angel; don't try and deny that."

"I don't like him near you."

Buffy refrained from rolling her eyes. "Don't start with me, Angel. You don't get to come back into my life and think you can tell me who my friends are. If Spike hadn't been with me in LA, I would've been a broken mess. And do I need to remind you _why_ I was like that?"

"We didn't know it would-"

"I know," she said. "But I need someone who I can count on, and you should know how loyal he was to Drusilla."

"What, are you two in love now?"

She gaped at him. "We're friends, Angel. Just like I'm _your_ friend."

He shook his head. "We've been fooling ourselves for too long now, just like Spike's been fooling you. I can see that he loves you; he looks at you like he used to look at Drusilla, and I don't like it. _I_ love you still."

"Well, I don't."

Angel gave her that same look from when she sent him to Hell the first time. "What?"

"It's not me who needs to stop fooling themselves, Angel," said Buffy. "It's you. This can't work. Love should be something beautiful; it shouldn't cause anyone pain or suffering, and when I'm with you, that's always what it leads to. So we need to stay away from each other; you don't need me to take care of you anymore, and I certainly don't need you trying to take care of _me_."

He shook his head. "I don't accept that. I can't just leave you alone knowing that Spike-"

"Enough about Spike; this has nothing to do with him!" Buffy found herself yelling. "OK, so he loves me, but that's something I have to deal with on my own, and I shouldn't need my ex-boyfriend butting in!"

He looked her up and down, before staring her straight in the eye. "You love him." It wasn't a question.

Buffy paused. _No, Spike's a friend…isn't he?_ "I already said-"

But Angel had already seen her hesitance. "Don't fool yourself. What makes him different? He has a soul which can go away the moment you sleep with him; you can't be with him as much as you can't be with me, so what makes him different?"

"You wanna know the difference? One can love someone without wanting to have sex with them. And if one can't, then that's not true love, is it?"

She stormed out before he could say anything more.

* * *

Spike had heard Buffy's raised voice, but restrained himself from charging in. _She can take care of herself; that girl doesn't need a man lookin' out for her_. He was able to turn his attention away so as not to hear what was being said.

When Buffy stormed out, Spike ran after her. He caught up with her but didn't say anything; he knew it was best to wait until she spoke first.

She didn't speak until they reached her house. "I told Angel I wasn't coming back. I said we needed to stop seeing each other. He didn't take it very well."

"I thought that was what happened," said Spike with a sigh. "He's never been very good at bein' told what to do; always has to have things his own bloody way. Do you think he'll listen to you?"

"If he doesn't, I'll send him a clear message," said Buffy. "Hopefully he'll still leave for LA next year." They entered the house; it was quiet, telling them that Joyce had turned in for the night. "He doesn't like you being around me."

Spike sighed again as they began to climb the stairs. "There's the possessive bastard I know. I think he's upset that I've taken his place in the picture." He froze and his eyes widened. "I mean…in a sense that I'm a vamp with a soul, and…helpin' the Slayer."

It looked like Buffy hadn't caught slip up. They entered her room. "You don't think…he'd try and stake you? Angel's my friend, but if he ever staked you I wouldn't hesitate to stake him right back." She collapsed onto the bed.

"I'd like to say he wouldn't, pet, but… You never know with him," Spike admitted.

There were tears welling up in her eyes. "Oh, God. It's like what happened to Debbie; Pete loved her too much. Now Angel loves me too much, and you might get staked because of it, and it's my fault because I was a dumb teenager who didn't think…"

"Hey." Spike sat down and wrapped an arm around her, this time without any hesitation. "That won't happen, 'cause I won't let it. So long as you're here on this Earth, I'll fight to stay by your side. Count on it."

Buffy leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Stay with me, Spike. Just hold me."

"OK." He reluctantly pulled away to take his duster off, and she did the same with her jacket. Once their shoes were off as well, Buffy laid herself down on the bed and moved over to make room for Spike. He laid down next to her, and she leaned into him as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Spike lost track of time, but it didn't matter; all he cared about was the girl lying willingly in his arms. And as he began to drift off to sleep, he swore he heard the words, "I love you," leave Buffy's lips. He smiled as the happiness that came with those words overflowed him.

A short time later he awoke with a jolt to an agonizing pain in his chest.


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Lost Soul

"Oh God, no… Please, no…" No matter how hard Spike begged, he still felt the soul being ripped from him. He looked down at Buffy; she was sleeping peacefully beside him, unaware of the nightmare that was happening outside of her dreams.

_I can't be here when the soul's gone. I can't hurt her. If I hurt her…_ He leapt from the bed and slipped his boots on, before grabbing his duster and running from the room.

Unfortunately Buffy heard him run, and woke up in confusion. "Spike?" She saw the empty space beside her, and having a flashback to her night with Angel, took off after him. "Spike!"

When Spike got outside he collapsed to his knees on the lawn. _Please… Powers That Be, please don't do this… I can't hurt her… I can't do what Angel did to her…_

"Spike!" Buffy ran out of the house behind him. "Spike!"

"No, stay away!" Spike yelled over his shoulder. "I don't wanna hurt you! Please, just stay back!"

"But we didn't do anything!" Buffy explained.

Spike shook his head. "I can still feel it slippin' away… It…" He gave an unearthly cry of pain.

"Spike!" Buffy ran towards him. "Spike, please."

The vampire took in several deep breaths; the pain was over…in more ways than one. _The soul's gone…bloody hell, it's gone… I need to get away from her…can't hurt her…_ He leapt to his feet. "Stay away from me, Buffy! Please, just stay away! I can't let myself hurt you!"

He took off without another word, leaving a shocked Buffy behind him.

* * *

Buffy didn't care how early in the morning it was. Her mother had already been woken up by Spike's cries, and she deserved to hear the explanation as well. So Buffy called Giles and her friends, and had them come over.

"What's wrong, Buffy?" It was Willow who spoke first, sensing that something was up.

"And where's Spike?" asked Cordelia.

"I heard him in agony earlier," said Joyce. "It woke me up. By the time I got down here he'd run off, and Buffy was calling you all here."

Buffy bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears. She knew what she had to say wouldn't go over well. "Spike, he… We're not sure what happened. We went to Angel's last night, and…Angel and I had an argument. I said it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore, and he didn't really agree with me. When we got back, Spike was comforting me; we were lying down on the bed and he was just…holding me. It was clean. But…"

"Let me guess," said Giles. "He lost his soul."

Buffy nodded. "I thought only sleeping with him would do it; that's why I'm confused."

"Technically, the curse is only broken when the bearer experiences a moment of pure happiness," said Willow. "I guess that can be anything from sleeping with someone to, I don't know, going on a ride at the funfair."

Buffy couldn't help but think back to how Angel had lost his soul before. _Says something about them both when Angel loses his soul by sleeping with me, and Spike loses it by sleeping __next__ to me_.

_Speak of the demon…_ Buffy sensed him before his fist hammered against her door. She answered it with a roll of her eyes.

"Buffy, let me in! Spike lost his soul! I felt it through the linage!"

"We know he lost his soul, and he's not here," said Buffy. "We're handling it. I don't need a vampire in shining armour coming to my rescue."

"Buffy!" Angel pounded against the invisible force keeping him out.

And yet Buffy refused to let him in.

"Buffy, now that Spike has lost his soul, we need to find and stake him before he kills anyone," said Giles. "You and Faith can corner him; he may have fought and killed Slayers in the past, but he may not be able to take on two at the same time."

But Buffy shook her head. "I…I don't think he'll kill anyone."

Her friends and family gaped at her. "Buffy, need I remind you of what happened last year-"

"Giles, I know what happened last year, but Spike's not Angel." She sent said vampire a glare. "I watched him as he lost his soul, and I was still there when it was gone. And do you wanna know the last words he said to me? He _begged_ for me to stay away from him so he couldn't hurt me. Even now he doesn't want to hurt me. He may have lost his soul, but he's changed. And I need to find him before he kills himself."

"And what if you're wrong?" asked Giles.

Buffy grabbed her coat. "If I'm wrong, then I'll do it." She pushed past Angel as she headed out the door. The vampire began to follow, but she spun around and pointed a finger at him. "Don't follow me, Angel. I can handle myself; I've _always_ been able to handle myself. I wish you'd learn that."

She hurried away, wondering where Spike would go. _Oh God, he could be dead already – unless he wanted to make it slow and painful…_ Her eyes widened. She'd told him about how Angel had tried to commit suicide that time. _He's right about one thing; he really is taking Angel's place_.

* * *

It didn't take her long to get to the hill. She sighed with relief when she found him there, facing the horizon where the sun would be rising.

"Spike!"

He turned to her with wide eyes. "Buffy, no! Stay away!"

"Spike, please, don't!" she tried. "You can't die!"

"But I can't kill you, pet," he said. She could see his tears, and his eyes were red raw. "I'd rather die. The guilt's gone."

Buffy took several steps forwards. "But your feelings haven't. Think about it, Spike; if you still think this way, that means you can't kill me."

"How can you know that?!" Spike yelled with raw emotion. "One day the scent of your blood could make me snap, and if that happens I'll never forgive myself! I know what I am, Buffy, and so do you! And I know what you are, too; something I have to kill…but I can't. I love you, Buffy."

She had heard Angel say it. She had even begun to suspect it herself. But having Spike say the words himself… It was so different compared to the last time he'd said it, both in how he'd said it and her reaction to it. Last time, it had disgusted her.

This time it was the total opposite; it made her realize the feeling that had been creeping up on her for months, and she couldn't deny it any longer. "Spike…I love you, too."

He stared at her. "I know. I heard you say it last night. I think…that was what did it. Hearin' you say it."

Buffy bit her lip, trying to hold back tears of her own. Once again, the man she loved had lost his soul and it was her fault. "Spike…I know you may not believe me now, and I don't have time to explain fully, but you just have to trust me. When I told you where I was from…I didn't tell you everything. You changed…because you fell in love with me."

His eyes widened. "Come again, pet?"

"You fell in love with me in my timeline," she explained. "You didn't have a soul, and you loved me. You've never needed a soul to love, Spike."

"But I needed a soddin' chip."

"The chip only kept you at bay long enough for your heart to do the rest," said Buffy. "Heck, I was even thinking about having it taken out after the battle with Glory; you didn't want to kill anymore, and it was because of me. You loved me, Spike, and you love me now. And I believe that'll stop you from killing for good."

Spiked continued to stare. Buffy could see that he wanted to believe her. But whatever was going on inside his head, it was too strong. "I won't do it again; I can't become a killer. I lost my soul, and I'm a monster again – and you of all people know, Slayer, that monsters deserve to die!"

"But you're not a monster, Spike!" Buffy almost screamed. "Please, get inside!" _Please, help! I know he's not Angel, but you have to help, Powers That Be! You gave me the chance to be happy! So save him!_

"Buffy, you can't understand what I've done, and what I'll probably end up doin'!" yelled Spike.

"But I _do_!" she said. She was in tears. "That's why I helped you; I understand what you are and what you've done, and I don't care! I should have realized that a lot sooner before. Then maybe I wouldn't have died, and maybe that's why the Powers sent me back here – to have a second chance with you, and to make me realize that all I've ever wanted was in front of me the whole time. If you die, then you'll be just as bad as Angel. He hurt me, just like you're hurtin' me now. Love shouldn't hurt…but it does."

She could see that Spike wanted to comfort her; she could see that he wanted to take her into his arms and hold her close. But he restrained himself. "Buffy, I'll hurt you if I stay on this Earth. I don't want to…but I know that eventually, I will. It's what I am. I can't fight it."

"But you've always been a fighter, Spike. You're the strongest fighter I've ever known, and you can win," said Buffy. "If you got a sign from the Powers to stay in this world, would you?"

"Well, I can't exactly argue with them. But they don't care about me, do they?"

Buffy wordless gestured to the snow falling around them.


	15. Chapter Fifteen: Change

Buffy spotted her friends and family stood out on the lawn in front of her house, admiring the snow. She gripped Spike's hand tighter as the Slayer and vampire approached.

Willow was first to spot them, and pointed. They all turned, and Buffy saw the cautious expressions on their faces, for they were uncertain about Spike. Angel growled and tried to take a step forwards, but Giles stopped him. The Watcher was as weary as the rest of them, but he was willing to allow Buffy to explain.

"Found him," Buffy announced, as she and Spike came to a halt in front of the group. "He was up on Kingman's Bluff trying to dust himself when the sun rose. The snow convinced him not to."

Willow ventured, "Is he, you know…?"

"He's not gonna kill anyone," assured Buffy. She gave the vampire's hand a squeeze, and out of the corner of her eye she could see that his gaze was averted to the ground. "He's fighting his instincts."

"I wonder how long _that'll_ last?" asked Angel bitterly.

Buffy sent the older vampire a glare. "He's on edge, and I would appreciate it if everyone cut him a break; no taunting, no name-calling, no staking, no nothing. And if anyone tries to kill him, they'll be dealing with me." She kept her eyes fixed upon Angel the whole time; she knew the others wouldn't try anything, not even Giles. But Angel…

_He'll be lucky if he lives to see LA again_.

* * *

The days passed. Buffy found herself falling back into the routine she'd had before, when Spike had been chained to her sink at the apartment in LA. While she didn't do the same, she kept a close eye on him in case he tried dusting himself again. She noticed that her mother was also doing the same, and while it surprised her that Joyce would continue to trust him, she appreciated the help.

Patrolling with Spike helped, for the violence that came with fighting other vampires and demons helped ease Spike's _own_ demon. One night she was cut severely and there was blood everywhere. Spike helped her home where both her mother and Giles were waiting, and the vampire fussed around her alongside Joyce.

When Spike was out of the room, Giles had approached her. "I think you are right about him, Buffy."

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"There was Slayer blood everywhere," said her Watcher. "I watched Spike the entire time, and he never once looked like he wanted to drink from you. It appeared that he never even considered it."

Buffy mentioned this later. Spike had said it was probably because he'd been full; he had filled himself up on pig's blood before going out.

Willow and Oz grew comfortable around him during an anti-witch argument which sprung up. While Buffy had been able to stop the "Hansel and Gretel" demon from appearing, a couple of guys had still tried beating on Willow, Amy and Michael after catching the trio late at night in the chemistry lab performing a spell. Spike had chased the guys off, but later he had admitted to Buffy that he'd almost bitten one of them.

"I understand why," she'd said. "You were angry that they tried to harm Willow. I would've been, too."

The incident with Willow also helped Xander accept him, which only grew after the vampire scared off one of Cordelia's ex-boyfriends, which at the same time helped the cheerleader accept him too.

Her birthday approached, and instead of building up false hope that her father would take her to the ice show, Buffy and Spike planned on what they were going to do about the upcoming Cruciamentum test. They decided that Spike would go to the old Sunnydale Arms building and kill Kralik while she would deal with Giles.

In the end – remembering how betrayed she had felt and how guilty Giles had been – she wrote him a note explaining that Spike had told her about the test (she explained that he knew because of his time studying Slayers) and that she refuses to take it. She knew Quentin Travers wouldn't let the test go ahead if she knew about it, and at the same time, Giles wouldn't be fired since he hadn't said anything about it to her.

Although she still avoided Giles for the time being. It was better safe than sorry.

* * *

Spike kicked down the door of the ruined building and stepped inside. He could hear two human heartbeats, but this was what he expected; Buffy had warned him that two Council members, Blair and Hobson, were guarding Kralik. She'd also hinted, although not outright stated, that she didn't care if he drained them.

While Spike was tempted, he knew not to. It would open up a door he would never be able to close again.

He crept silently through the house, making for the room where Buffy had said the crate would be. Spike had no intention of opening it up to get a look at the vampire inside; he would set it alight straight away. The thought of the insane vampire getting out and hurting his girl…

The room was empty when he got there. He frowned in confusion. _Could've sword Buffy said the crazy vamp would be here by now. She wouldn't know the exact date, I suppose. But then why are those other wankers here?_

By the time he smelt them, it was already too late. Something hit his back before several electrical shocks shot through his body, causing him to cry out in pain. He collapsed to the floor, barely conscious; he knew he would be out like a light any second.

Blair and Hobson crouched over him as his eyes closed, but he still heard what they said.

"Gotta get the blood outta him."

"He needs to be starving by the time the Slayer gets here."

It was all the realization he needed. _God, no_.

* * *

Buffy tried not to worry, but she couldn't help it. Spike had been gone for far too long.

_Did Blair and Hobson kill him?_ She shook her head. Spike was a master vampire; he wasn't killing anymore, but Blair and Hobson were still no match for him even with weapons. And she was certain Kralik wouldn't be responsible. Spike had promised to set the crate on fire without even opening it. _Unless Kralik had already escaped by the time he got there_.

The worry got to her, and she rose from her seat on the couch with the intent of going to find him. _At least I convinced Mum to stay away in case we couldn't stop Kralik_.

She opened the door…and her eyes widened at the sight of Quentin Travers stood before her. He didn't look amused. "Miss Summers."

Part of Buffy knew why he had come to confront her – but another part of her felt dread when she realized he'd come on the night Spike had gone to kill Kralik. _If he's done anything to him, I swear…_ "What do you want?"

"What I want is to carry out the tradition that every Slayer has faced," he said. "Well, not every Slayer, I suppose – just the ones that lived this long."

Buffy knew that had she not been so emotional, she would've heard the other man come in through the back door. It was her earlier worry for Spike and then her anger at Travers which had clouded her senses, and before she could fight back, the man plunged a syringe into her arm.

The Slayer cried out; it felt like her powers were being yanked from her all at once.

"Don't worry, the drug won't kill you," said Travers. "It does the same as what we normally use, only much quicker. We only use this one in…certain circumstances."

Buffy collapsed to the floor, blacking out.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: True Love

Buffy awoke in a dark room, and the strong scent of dust and wood told her that she was in the Sunnydale Arms building.

_I guess it's time for the test_. She suddenly froze when she realized what that meant. _Spike… They must've… I swear, when I get out of here, I'm gonna kill them. No joke. They can't be human for doing something like this_. She sat up, trying to push down the feeling of weakness she had hoped to never experience again.

A sudden gasp made her freeze. She slowly turned to find Spike sat across from her, as far away as he could get.

Her heart swelled. "Spike!" She leapt towards him in great relief, but suddenly found herself getting pushed backwards. The Slayer landed on her rear, and it hurt.

"No, stay away from me, Buffy!" he cried. He tried to get to his feet, but he was trembling so much that he couldn't. "Please…just stay away…get out of the room and leave me…"

He was weak, but not weak enough. What was happening suddenly hit Buffy like a block of ice. _There's no Kralik this time_, she realized. _They want me to fight Spike_.

They had made sure he was starving so he wouldn't be able to resist feeding from her. She didn't know what was crueller; the fact that the Council expected her to kill Spike, or the fact that he would end up probably starving himself to death.

Because he wouldn't kill her. She knew he would rather die than kill her, his hunger be damned.

"Spike…" Buffy edged closer cautiously; she knew he wouldn't strike at her, but she didn't want him to run. "Spike, please. I know you won't hurt me. We had this talk, remember?" She tried to forget what had happened that early morning up on the hill; how much it had hurt seeing Spike trying to kill himself, not even knowing if the Powers That Be would intervene…

But he shook his head. "No. You weren't weak then. You could fight me if I ever tried. But now… Not only are you weak, I need blood." He looked into her eyes. "I can't kill you, Buffy. Please, go find a room and lock yourself in. Barricade yourself. Make sure there's everything between me and you. If I lose it…"

"You _won't_." She placed her hands on both his shoulders. "Spike, do you even realize how much self-control you have? When Angel had a soul, he was always touchy around the sight of blood; it drove him on edge. And when I made him bite me that time, he almost drained me dry because he didn't have enough control to stop when he needed to." She cupped his cheek, using her thumb to wipe away a tear. "When I was bleeding that time, you didn't even _consider_ drinking from me."

"I was full."

She shook her head. "Keep telling yourself that. It was still Slayer blood on show, and you never even _looked_ at me in a way to suggest you wanted a snack. Spike, you lost your soul, and yet you have more self-control than a souled Angel ever had." She crawled over to him and turned his head to face her. "Listen to me. You're alive right now because I saw you change. You faced the monster inside of you, and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man, even without your soul. And you _are_ that better man. You may not see it, but _I_ do. I believe in you, Spike. And I love you."

Her lips met his. The kiss was tender, and at first Spike was hesitant to kiss her back. But it could only go up from their; the kiss became one fuelled by a fiery passion Buffy had never felt before.

It wasn't long before they were making love, giving the Watcher's Council the literal meaning of the insult 'Fuck you'.

* * *

Buffy awoke lying naked next to Spike on the floor, and to the sound of a large crash. Spike awoke as well, and while the two shared a brief but warm smile, they turned their attention to the noise.

"It's your Watcher and mates," said Spike, his vampire hearing recognizing the group.

They hurriedly began getting their clothes on, but they weren't fast enough; the group found them, and froze at the sight of the Slayer and vampire half naked on the floor. All eyes were wide – except for Faith's, who only smirked down at them. "Way to go, B. It's about time the two of you started banging."

"I, um…" Buffy continued to put her clothes back on as she spoke, "I can explain-"

"There's not need to explain, Buffy," said Giles. "It was very obvious to all of us that you two love each other. What I would like to know is Kralik's location."

"There's no Kralik. Apparently they decided upon a last minute switch of opponents," said Spike. "You don't happen to have any blood on you?"

They all stared in shock.

"Let me get this straight," said Xander, pointing between the two. "Buffy's weak and defenceless, and you've been starved of blood…and you didn't even _think_ about snacking on her?"

Buffy nodded. "He kept telling me to stay away from him in case he lost it. I knew he wouldn't. Then we decided to, um…pass the time."

They all jumped at the sound of another crash, and Buffy sighed inwardly in annoyance when she heard a familiar voice yell, "Buffy!"

"Over here," called Cordelia.

"Err, I don't think that's a good idea right now…" Before Oz could finish Angel was there, and he froze when he caught sight of Buffy and Spike on the floor.

Even though they were mostly dressed at this point, the smell in the room was enough to give away what the pair had been up to.

Angel's face shifted into its demon form and he leapt at Spike. With a cry of, "No!" Buffy leapt on top of her love, attempting to shield him from her ex. She was still weak, but to her it didn't matter.

Thankfully Willow came to the rescue and shouted something in another language, obviously a one-word spell. Angel was sent flying backwards.

The witch then placed herself in front of him, blocking the way to Buffy and Spike. "No bumpies!" she scolded him. "Spike's been starving the whole time, and he never even _considered_ making Buffy his midnight snack. They're mature, and what they did was an act of love, so…so…deal with it, and stay away from them!"

Angel could only stare, unable to utter a word. He tried looking at Buffy, but when she sent him a glare he was forced to look away again. He kept his eyes averted so he couldn't see her turn back to Spike with a loving smile on her face, one which he returned.

When the pair were dressed and on their feet, another entered the building; Quentin Travers. He was shocked to see Buffy alive and well. "You're-"

"If that was your little plan to get me out of the way, you forgot to consider one thing." She put an arm around Spike. "Several things, actually; self-control, my history with the vampire you set me up against, and more importantly, love. _True_ love."

"Impossible!" he scoffed. "Vampires can't love without a soul!"

"This one can." She turned and gave Spike a quick on the lips. "And just so you know, I'm not gonna be working for the Council anymore; I'm tired of you all telling me what to do, and I'm sick of the idea of having teenage girls fight _your_ war like a child slave. Not to mention you paint the world in black and white; demons are bad, people are good. There're good demons and bad people."

Faith stepped forwards. "Same here. No Council for me, too."

"You can't do this!" He took a threatening step towards Buffy.

Spike was on him in an instant. He grabbed Quentin by the neck before sinking his teeth in. But he only took a couple gulps of blood before pushing the Watcher away, the man landing on his rear.

"Go near my girl again," Spike pointed a threatening finger at the man, "and I'll drain you dry."

Travers stared at him, wide-eyed. "He-! He bit me!"

"Like I said; self-control," said Buffy. "He's starving, and he could've drained you then and there."

"Honestly, I wouldn't have given a rat's arse if he _had_," said Giles. He was glaring daggers at his employer.

Buffy did the same. "Unless you and your Council learn to respect Slayers and accept just how grey the world is, you can sit it out until the next Slayer is called." She then turned to Spike. "Come on, let's get you something to eat. As tempting as it is to feed Travers to you, I don't want an invasion of angry Watchers."


	17. Epilogue: Happily Ever

**AN: I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed this story. _Memories of Another Life_ will be updated soon. **

* * *

It was that morning, after leaving Travers behind, when Buffy decided to tell her friends and family about who she really was.

She told them when it happened; how she had suddenly found herself fighting Angel months before, to which Angel said it made sense. He had been able to take her off guard, something which was hard to do. She explained what should have happened – sending Angel to hell even after he'd regained his soul – before stating how she had changed that.

Buffy then moved on to what would've happened for the rest of Senior year, although she missed out the less important bits. She certainly didn't tell her friends about how Willow and Xander had developed a thing for each other which ended in a rift between the former and Oz and caused Cordelia to temporarily revert back to her old ways.

While hesitant at first, she told Faith about how she accidentally killed a man, and how it resulted in her joining up with the Mayor to assist his evil plan. She told her fellow Slayer firmly that she wasn't going to let it happen again; Faith was her friend, and didn't deserve everything that happened to her. Faith just nodded and thanked Buffy for telling her.

Buffy elaborated on the Mayor's evil plan, and how they stopped it. She told Angel that he decided to leave for LA after having realized they couldn't be together.

She then went into what happened with college and the Initiative. She explained how Spike, soulless, had shown up again which had resulted in him getting chipped. She said this had led him to joining the gang in fighting demons so he could get his kicks and some protection. She didn't mention Riley, not wanting to get into that, and she definitely didn't mention Anya or Tara. While she knew Anya would probably never show up, she was still uncertain about Tara; she would have to let it happen on its own.

Finally she told them all about Dawn ad Glory. Her mother had been surprised that she could think she'd had another daughter, to which Buffy said they all thought the same; their memories had been altered. It was hard explaining her mother's growing illness and eventual death, but hoped getting it out into the open would help stop it from happening; she wanted to keep her mother around for a while longer.

She went into how Spike fell in love with her, and how she had at first rejected him until he was tortured by Glory and proved just how serious he was about her. Then she hesitantly told them about how she died, which had sent her back in time in the first place. When Willow said determinedly that they wouldn't let that happen this time around, Buffy assured her that it wouldn't; she had already taken care of Glory by killing his human host, something she explained she wasn't proud of but knew it had to be done. None of her friends condemned her for it.

Things became easier after that. While they were forced to wait until the Ascension before they could kill the Mayor, things worked out much easier with Faith on their side. The Council made a last ditch effort in sending Wesley as the new Watcher, but the gang ignored him like the last time, although Buffy was able to have a talk with him; after all, the younger Watcher would become an ally to Angel in LA, and a dependable one.

Like the last time, Angel left for LA, and while he didn't say it out loud, Buffy knew he had accepted her relationship with Spike. Before he left she gave him a vague outline of what he would face in LA in order to make things easier. She was surprised when Faith announced that she would be going with him, as would Wesley. There were vampires and demons in LA, and since Buffy had things covered in Sunnydale, the younger Slayer wanted to go where others needed help. Buffy hugged her before she left; telling Faith what would happen to her had matured her, turning her into the young woman she had become while serving her time in prison.

Much later Buffy found out that Faith and Angel were together, after having found a way to secure Angel's soul. She was happy for her friends, and glad that Angel had finally moved on.

Buffy, Willow and Oz attended college while Xander and Cordelia both got jobs. Buffy was able to get a room with Willow the first time instead of having to deal with Kathy, and was also able to chase Veruca away from Oz. She only did so after guiltily learning that Tara wouldn't be around.

Apparently, in the old timeline, Tara had been in a car accident and had been saved on the scene by a passing medical intern – Ben. With Ben dead, Tara had died. Buffy had cried in guilt after learning this, and Spike had comforted her for the nights that followed.

Their first run in with the Initiative had been admittedly fun. They had gone after Spike, and were met with a pissed off Slayer who threw the commandos around like rag dolls. Riley, who had already started to take an interest in Buffy, had been there too. He had stared at her with wide eyes, and Buffy had been more than happy to give him a well-deserved punch in the face.

She had threatened them, saying that if they ever went near Spike again, or tried to take her or her friends out, she wouldn't hesitate to do more damage. She considered the later confrontation by Maggie Walsh as going against those terms, so on Thanksgiving she led an army of peaceful demons into the faculty and destroyed it.

Not much else happened for the rest of the year.

The next year, while trying not to miss Dawn, Buffy got her mother sorted out. They were able to catch the tumour early, and Buffy kept a close eye on Joyce for the months that followed, waiting for any signs of the aneurysm that killed her the first time around. But since they had caught it earlier, no such complications arose, and she was able to pursue a healthy relationship with Brian which eventually led to their marriage a year later. Buffy grew to like Brian; he made her mother happy, and the man took the news about vampires surprisingly well.

When Xander got a stable job and an apartment, and Cordelia starting working with Giles at the Magic shop, the pair decided to marry. Willow and Oz were next. Giles, feeling a little left out, pursued a relationship with Olivia which also ended in marriage. Buffy and Spike's thoughts about marriage were delayed after a run in with a Mohra demon left the vampire human, but also weaker than before.

It was that day when Buffy knew what she had thought before was true; that the Powers had given her a second chance to be with Spike. For as their gift to the pair, they gave Spike his vampire strength so he could continue fighting at Buffy's side.


End file.
